Rock Of Ages

Believe it or not I am still part of this blog.  I just took a brief five month hiatus from reviewing movies.

The latest movie I saw it theaters was Rock of Ages.  After all, I love musicals and cannot resist more than a dozen 80s songs and a shirtless Tom Cruise in the same movie.  This is the latest film from Adam Shankman, director of 2007's "Hairpray," which was a great adaptation of the Broadway show and one of my favorite movies.  Alas, that will probably be Shankman's greatest achievement.  Not even an all star cast, including Tom Cruise, Catherine Zeta-Jones, and Alec Baldwin could make this a quality film.  Then again maybe thinking of the most cliched plot and randomly adding 80s songs to it just wasn't a great idea to begin with.

The film takes place in 1987 and deals with a naive young midwestern girl, who naturally wants to move to California and become a singer.  She unsurprisingly falls in love with a young man who works at a bar in this sleazy club, who just so happens to be a closeted singer as well.  It's not just any sleazy club though, it's run by Alec Baldwin and Russell Brand and is about to be shut down if they don't pay their taxes on it.  This is where a shirtless, long haired Tom Cruise, as fictional rock and roll idol Stacie Jaxx comes to save the day.  Hopefully his star status will bring in the needed money to save the Bourbon Club.  Tons of random things happen and people randomly burst into such songs as "Hit me With Your Best Shot," "Pour Some Sugar on Me," "Anyway You Want It," and "Can't Fight This Feeling." 

If you ever wanted to know if Tom Cruise can sing, then the answer is yes, kind of.  All he needed was some voice training and a little auto-tune.  I am not a huge fan of his, but he was funny in this movie, and I personally enjoyed his songs, mainly "Pour Some Sugar on Me."  I may have personal issues to work out though.  Who knows? Also, even at age 50 every women who gets within in three feet of him apparently still wants to have sex with him.  There is all sorts of PG-13 sexual references and encounters for Stacie Jaxx, and it's all so ridiculous that I couldn't help but be amused.  Also, another running joke, him putting his hand on at least three women's chests during the duration of the movie, also could potentially lead to amusement. 

The two main young actors Julianne Hough and Diego Boneto really cannot age.  I assume they are merely there to look attractive and bring in that young demographic.  

Next, I love Catherine Zeta-Jones, mainly from Chicago. She proved she had an incredibly powerful voice that fits perfectly in a film based off a Broadway show.  Her character in Rock of Ages was added just for the movie and is really kind of pointless, it pains me to say.  She is the mayor's wife and wants to clean up the city from all the sex, drugs, and rock and roll.  However, she got to sing "Hit me With Your Best" shot, which I enjoyed.  Why was the choreography so cheesy? Why did this scene take place in a church?  I honestly have no idea.  It's just a catchy Pat Benatar song.

Also, Russell Brand is so freaking annoying that it makes me want to scream.  The combination of annoying accent and being not funny just do not sit well with me.  However, his duet with Alec Baldwin (who is a riot anytime he opens his mouth to sing), "Can't Fight this Feeling" was hilarious.  Who knew that they were in love with each other the entire time?  It's true, they ride on carousels and kiss and everything...so be forewarned.  

I got a Burlesque feeling watching Rock of Ages, which is no compliment.  The whole small town girl trying to make it in the big city aspect, mainly.  Unfortunately Cher was not in it though.  That would have possibly added another star to my rating.  

If Mamma Mia! taught us anything it is that Pierce Brosnan cannot sing and that it is never a good idea to attempt to make a musical using previously existing hit songs.  It will always feel forced and the singing will stick out like a sore thumb and not flow naturally with the narrative, like "Sweeney Todd" or "Chicago" did so beautifully.  

One last thing thing I forgot to mention.  One of my favorite scenes was "Anyway You Want It," being sung at a strip club (Oh yeah I forgot to mention it, but the main girl becomes a stripper at a club run by Mary J. Blige...i don't remember why...).  I am really not sure what that says about the quality of this movie, but what can I say, Journey is irresistible to me.

The movie is cliched, the songs don't fit naturally with the story, everyone is obviously lip synching, and there were no scenes as great to me as Meryl Streep singing "Winner Takes it All" in Mamma Mia! or Cher singing "You Haven't Seen the Last of Me" in Burlesque.  I couldn't hate it though.  It was just too ridiculous, but let's be honest I'll probably watch it again before I ever watch Mamma Mia!  

1 star out of 4...if we are being honest with ourselves...Yes I know I rated the previously mentioned two musicals higher that that...I really don't know what I'm doing.

-Joseph Sbrilli 

21 Jump Street

Oh. My. Lord. How in the world did I forget to review "21 Jump Street"? The film that looked so bad that I vowed never to see it only to watch its tomatometer skyrocket. 'Well, damn,' I thought, 'I guess I have to see it now' and that was one of the greatest decisions I've made this year. If we aren't including that late night Taco Bell run of course.

"21 Jump Street" is based off the '80s tv show of the same name starring the perpetually good/rapey looking Johnny Depp. In the show, Depp was a cop who looked "young" so they sent him to high school to stop drug rings and other crimes that teenagers like to commit. Somehow they made it into an hour long drama. Lord knows how much crime had to be committed at that high school to make that show interesting enough for a tv show.

Well, Jonah Hill decided to re-create the show into the most hilarious movie of the year.

Schmidt (Jonah Hill) and Jenko (Channing Tatum) are two under-performing buddy cops. Jenko is just dumb and doesn't know the Miranda Rights: "You have the right to uh...the right to suck my dick!" Schmidt just isn't very athletic. After they mess up on the job, their captain sends them to 21 Jump Street. A division run by a very sassy ice cube in which young-looking police officers go undercover at local high schools to, you guessed it, stop crimes. Schmidt and Jenko are sent to a local high school that is having a problem with a new synthetic drug that has been implicated in the overdose death of one student.

The writers have captured the change in high school so well and at the same time making the buddy cop routine seem fresh. Jenko walks around the school identifying different groups: jocks, nerds, goths, and then he gets to hipsters. Despite being in high school just 5ish years before, hipster is a new fad for him. And anyone who is in college or high school now can instantly identify the faux-50's style and increased emphasis on social awareness.

The movie is hilarious. And not dumb hilarious. It is actually hilarious. It is smart, it is clever and it keeps your attention from start to finish. I found myself doubled over trying to stop the giraffe noises coming out of my throat lest my friends judge me even more. This is one of the few movie that I actually enjoy Jonah Hill in and Channing Tatum should do comedy more often because it is right in his wheelhouse.

There are few R-rated comedies that I would show my parents. This may be one of them because I know they appreciate smart comedy. If you want to laugh, you won't be disappointed. Prepare to quote it for the rest of the day.

4 out of 4 stars

-Christopher O'Connell

P.S. Johnny Depp is in it.

P.S. #@$% YOU SCIENCE!

12 Monkeys: A Quick Review

I love a good sci-fi. There's something about the worlds they create that look so different, yet feel so familiar at the same time. They are like dreams that you had as a child put on screen. Nightmares included.

12 Monkeys is a movie that I have wanted to see for a while. It has two great actors, Bruce Willis and Brad Pitt, and a simple yet potentially deep premise. In the future, 5 billion of the worlds population was wiped out by an airborne disease. The survivors went underground and are currently looking for a potential cure. The surface is ruled by the beats of the Earth. Bruce Willis is a prisoner that is forced to explore the surface gathering animal specimens for study. In exchange for a pardon, Bruce Willis is sent back in time to trace the origins of the virus and the people behind it. But they send him back to the wrong year and things get all screwy.

The film works off another premise described by a psychologist. I forget the name but the basic gist goes like this: The foreknowledge that something is going to happen and the agony of not being able to do anything about it. Willis' character is living in a world that he knows will die no matter what he does. And everyone thinks he is crazy because he talks about the future. It is heartbreaking watching him struggle to explain something that others could never understand. As he is pulled back and forth between time periods his grip on reality is shaken and the audience is left wondering if perhaps he really is insane and it is all in his head.

It is quite depressing but very well done. Any weird or unnecessary scenes can be quickly forgiven. It ranks high on my list of good sci-fi movies and I would encourage film fans to see it.

"I am insane. And you are my insanity."

3.5 out of 4 stars

-Christopher O'Connell

Training Day: A Quick Review

So I haven't reviewed anything in a while. Hopefully that will change. But let's start it off with a movie I've wanted to see for a while but it took forever to actually get around to.

For some reason, whenever someone mentions the film "the Graduate" I go, oh the Denzel movie? And they go, uh no? And give me a look like I'm dangerously stupid. If I ever talk about "The Graduate" odds are I am actually referring to this film because I am a fool.

Anyways, Ethan Hawke, everyone's "favorite" white actor is starting his new job in the narcotics division of the LAPD. His commanding officer is Denzel Washington. The entire movie takes place in one single day, where Ethan is meant to learn the ropes so to speak. Like a day of training if you will, to prepare him for multiple days on the job. He's kind of skittish but he's eager. He learns quickly that being a narcotics agent is a little different than being a beat cop. Denzel likes to work more closely to what is known as street justice. He lets things slide, like minor drug use in order to nab the big fish, the dealers and suppliers. But like any movie made after 1990, there's a twist and Denzel Washington is actually a pretty big douchebag instead of just being a tough cop.

The movie is well made, well-shot and pretty entertaining. Denzel Washington was awarded a best actor oscar for his work as detective Alonzo Harris. I'd highly recommend the film, if you can get over Ethan Hawke's character who for some reason basically does anything everyone tells him. But it's his first day! No, he's been a cop for a while he's not an idiot. You'll see what I mean.

3.5 out of 4 stars

-Christopher O'Connell

The Avengers

Oh finally, a new Marvel trilogy that isn't Spiderman has reached its successful conclusion. After 4 long years Iron Man 3 is finally gracing theaters..

Nope, wait. Sorry. Iron Man 3 doesn't come out until next year. I actually saw the Avengers, the superhero superorgy that was hinted at after the credits of Iron Man. The movie that spawned two prequels (Thor and Captain America) just so they could explain all the superhero back stories in time for the shmorgashboard of comic glory. And the product which has generated a ludicrous amount of money for a company that hasn't created a new, exciting superhero in at least 20 years. But that doesn't matter because all the favorites are here to play for our enjoyment.

The basic storyline is pretty simple. Loki (Tom Hiddleston, the bad guy from Thor) somehow gets sent to Earth by an alien race that wants to take over the planet. He steals the tesseract (an all powerful cube from Captain America that has unlimited power) and goes about making some people his zombie mind slaves. He turns Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) into one of them. Nick Fury, (Sam Jackson) realizing that the world is probably going to end, assembles the Avengers. Well, only some of them because there's actually like 543 superheros on the Avengers team. So Fury assembles the most famous ones, Iron Man, the Hulk, Captain America, Thor and I guess Hawkeye and Black Widow are famous too? Anyways, they all get assembled. Loki summons an alien army from outer space that absolutely rapes New York City and the Avengers come save the day. Wait, did you really expect anything else to happen?

Since everyone has already seen the movie, this is all basically just recap and I'm just going to try to convince you to think differently than the millions of fanboys that are currently curled up in their rooms watching a pirated copy for the fifth time with a box of kleenex and some vasoline next to them. Because they like this movie, a lot. And they have some good reasons to like it.

It's fun. It is just plain fun. There is action galore. The special effects are very impressive (just look at that huge flying aircraft carrier!). The superheroes are flashy, they break things, they break everything and there is very little in New York that doesn't get destroyed.

It's funny. Especially any scene with the Hulk. And Iron Man. His witty awesome banter is back and his many quips about other characters (talking to Thor: "hey, Point Break", I was the only one in the theater that laughed) are hilarious. It just adds to the fun.

Joss Whedon has crafted a cohesive narrative. Look at all those famous actors fighting for screen time. Obviously Robert Downey Jr. wins but I felt as if everyone got the ample amount of screen time they deserved to really develop them and help the audience actually care about them.

But there are also reasons why you shouldn't like the Avengers. Some of them are just personal preference, others should be obvious to all.

Who the #@$% is Loki? And who cares? What a sucky bad guy. He is terrible. Not only is he a complete wuss, all he does is whine about how his dad loved his brother and that Earth is rightfully his and even more crap. Shutup, grow some balls and find a better bad guy. Find someone that actually strikes fear in everyone's heart. And get a better actor to do it.

Really that's it? The whole tagline of the film was "if we can't save the Earth, you can be damn sure we will avenge it." But they did save it. They saved everything except New York City and part of Germany. That's pretty good if you ask me. Where's the sense of doom? The hopelessness? The "this is our last hope because we literally have tried everything else"? The Avengers are now our first and last lines of defense.

Someone needed to die. But Chris, someone did die! Someone we care about very much! Yeah, well....no. The person who died is a beloved regular but he was only human. A superhero should die in at least one of the future films. And then using his playing cards to push them over the edge? They were already sad Nick Fury, you jerk.

There really is only 3 superheroes in this movie. Iron Man, Hulk and Thor. Captain America is just like 10 guys in one but a bullet could still kill him easily. And where is his gun? I remember him having a gun in the comics. No, I'd rather throw my shield around like a frisbee/boomerang. Hawkeye is just accurate with a bow an arrow, a weapon system that was rendered obsolete in oh I don't know 100 years ago? More? And Black Widow. She carries two 9mm glocks. Pistols that can take multiple rounds to bring down a regular person. Thor is a freaking god and they put him on a team with an assassin? The Hulk's basically immortal and Iron Man is Iron Man! This is all very nitpicky but it annoyed me anyways.

Here's how I rank the Marvel films:
Iron Man 1
Iron Man 2
Hulk (Edward Norton, don't judge me)
The Avengers
Thor
Captain America

Compared to the crapfests that were Thor and Captain America, The Avengers is amazing. But it could have been better. You want explosions? Go see it. You want to laugh a little bit? Go see it.You want something better than Iron Man? Tough luck kiddo. Hopefully, Joss Whedon sticks with future projects or else this series could easily die in the water.

2.5 out of 4 stars

-Christopher O'Connell

The Hunger Games

   “Happy Hunger Games!”

   

With those words the dreams of millions of book fans were fulfilled. Suzanne Collins best-selling book series “The Hunger Games” has finally been brought to life on the big screen. And unlike “Twilight” it’s actually pretty good.

   

In the world of Panem, the dystopian future of the United States, twelve districts are forced to send a boy and a girl between the ages of 12 and 18 to compete in a gladiatorial style game. Out of 24 children, only one can win. When her sister is chosen, Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence) volunteers in her place for District 12. Her childhood friend Peeta Mellark (Josh Hutcherson) is also chosen.

   

With most books adapted into movies, a wrongly cast actor can break an otherwise good film. Fortunately “The Hunger Games” has a strong cast. Jennifer Lawrence is the perfect fit for Katniss. Stanley Tucci as the vivacious Caesar Flickerman, Donald Sutherland as President Snow and Woody Harrelson as Haymitch Abernathy. What I see on screen is what I imagined when reading the book.

   

And that isn’t restricted to the cast. The world of Panem is wonderfully detailed and the game arena is as beautiful as it is deadly. The scenes they include from the book are fully realized with visual flair. Because of the book’s length and the difficulty of translating to the big screen, the filmmakers chose to ignore some things while focusing on others from the book. It allows the film to be its own entity. It is quite obviously “The Hunger Games” but the film could stand alone without a book to prop it up.

   

But what makes the film good isn’t the cast, it isn’t the loyalty to its source material, it is the content of the movie. The plot, the moral choices that characters make and pay for. As terrifying as it was reading it, seeing it is ten times worse. The rousing music that accompanies the players to the beginning of the games cuts out when the slaughter begins and we are treated to the horror of children killing children for sport. It is visceral, it is gut-wrenching and it is powerful. In other films this sort of unnecessary killing is celebrated, expected even. The residents of the Capitol watch the Hunger Games like we watch the latest “Die Hard” film. “The Hunger Games” treats death like “Saving Private Ryan” did. It wasn’t death; it was the stealing of a life. A life that should have been lived, that deserved to be lived.

   

Book fans will be pleased and new fans will be pleased as well. The few cheesy moments and poor dialogue can be easily overlooked. Just like the book, “The Hunger Games” is an entertaining film with a spattering of social commentary. With the third best domestic opening of any movie ever, “The Hunger Games” is well worth the trial. May the odds be ever in your favor.

3 out of 4 stars

-Christopher O'Connell

The Artist: Best Picture?

   On February 26, “The Artist” took home five awards and three of Hollywood’s biggest: Best Actor, Best Director and of course Best Picture. If you haven’t heard about it, “The Artist” is a silent film and the first to win an Oscar since “Wings” in 1929. But while “The Artist” is technically impressive and most certainly an achievement in filmmaking, we ask the question, does it really deserve the awards it got?

   

 “The Artist” is the story of George Valentin (Jean Dujardin). Valentin is the biggest star in Hollywoodland, the “fictional” town where all of his movies are produced. After a well-received movie, Valentin is photographed with a fan, Peppy Miller (Bérénice Bejo) who uses the exposure to make her way into the movie business. But Valentin is only a star of silent movies. When his director Al Zimmer (John Goodman) decides to produce strictly “talkies” Valentin refuses to take any part, choosing instead to make his own silent films.

  

 But no one wants to watch silent films anymore. Peppy’s star continues to rise as she takes on more and more talking roles while Valentin descends into a washed up has-been.

  

 For those planning on seeing “The Artist,” think long and hard about whether or not you can sit through 100 minutes of no talking. I didn’t think it would be too weird, but it is. It’s disconcerting seeing mouths moving without any sound coming out. Once you get used to it though, “The Artist” becomes a great movie.

  

 Without dialogue, every actor has to exaggerate their movements and expressions to convey what they would be saying. They do this fantastically and never once is the audience confused about what is happening or what the characters are feeling. Valentin is a very charming lead, and while Bejo’s character is a little creepy at times, their budding attraction is fun to watch. Add to that Valentin’s sidekick, a cute terrier that knows every trick in the book, and you have a very watchable silent film.

   

 But why is this article titled Best Picture? Because when I see “The Artist” I see wasted potential. One scene in particular stands out. When Valentin first hears of talking films, he laughs them off and walks out. But he has a fever dream in which he starts to hear sounds. His dog barking, a glass clinking people laughing, but he cannot make a sound. No matter how loud he tries to yell. It was moving, heartbreaking and only five minutes long. The director should have explored that theme further, talking without being heard. Instead we have a movie that is about 20 minutes too long and a wasted exploration into the impact of sound.

   

 Fortunately, the movie ends on a high note with a catchy song and dance and Valentin’s first words of the entire film. Best musical score? Definitely. Best Actor? Sure. Best Director? Quite possibly. Best Picture? Not quite. There were better films this year and “The Artist” probably only won because everyone was surprised that it was still possible to make a good silent film.

3 out of 4 stars

-Christopher O'Connell