Twilight - New Moon

So...I've been meaning to put up this post for a while now, but I guess better late than never. My name is Alexis and this is my first attempt at a movie review, so please don't compare me with the movie review experts, Joe and Chris O. A little about myself: I LOVE watching all sorts of movies (except horror movies!) and I have read the "Twilight" books, so I knew what I was getting into when I went to go see "New Moon."
So here is a little recap of the plot of "Twilight: New Moon." Warning - there are a few spoilers, but I realize if you haven't already seen the movies, you probably never will, so there's no harm. Here it goes. Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) and Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) in the previous movie, fall in love despite Bella finding out that Edward is a vampire (wow surprising). They go through the common ups and downs and eventually Bella almost gets killed by another vampire and Edward saves her blah blah blah..."New Moon" begins with Bella waking up on her birthday after having a nightmare about being her grandmother. It's after this that the audience really sees Edward - the wind blowing in his hair and rock music in the background causes either a cry of delight or a cry of pain in the tackiness of it all. Later Edward invites Bella to the Cullen's house to celebrate her birthday where she accidentally cuts herself and nearly gets attacked by Jasper, Edwards adoptive brother. After all this, Edward leaves Bella and tells her he doesn't love her anymore which leads to Bella having extreme depression. Later Bella gets to know Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner), which is the source of the Team Edward vs. Team Jacob controversy, which is pretty much a contest over which guy is hotter, even though one is pasty and gross and the other looks like a five year old with a six pack...but anyways. Jacob Black is a Native American boy who lives on a reservation near Bella. They become friends over fixing a pair of motorcycles and slowly Bella becomes less depressed with Jacob's company. However, then Jacob becomes "sick" and doesn't want to hang out with Bella anymore, which then leads to Bella guessing that Jake is a werewolf (which is the natural opposite of the Vampire...go figure) and that she is being hunted by a vampire that wants revenge for Edward killing her mate in the previous movie. Then, Bella wanting a thrill, goes cliff-diving and almost drowns. After being saved by Jacob, she is visited by Edward's sister, Alice, who tells her that Edward is going to kill himself because he thinks she is dead. They race off and try to save Edward from exposing his sparkliness (vampires sparkle in sunlight) to the public and subsequent execution by the Vampire royal family, the Volturi. He almost succeeds (Edward shirtless = puking in mouth) but Bella saves him. However they are forced to meet the royal family and Edward is made to promise to change Bella into a vampire else the family will kill her/change her themselves. At last comes the end of the movie where Edward proposes to Bella and the audience squeals in delight. All is happy and good except for the threatening Jacob who is heartbroken over his loss of Bella to Edward.
So all and all, this movie was crap. Although there was about one believable part in the entire movie, Bella's depression, the rest was extremely tacky and, at points, painful. Also the fact that Jacob Black was shirtless for the majority of the movie makes me believe that most of the brain power for the script was put towards how often Jacob could have his shirt off instead of actual acting. The movie was pretty close to the book, but again the Team Edward vs. Team Jacob was extremely annoying. I'd say if you want to to have fun watching the movie, you are too late. Opening night was the closest you will ever get to an enjoyable experience with that movie (the people are AMAZING!) otherwise wait 10 years and buy it for 25 cents at a yard sale or read the book.

1 out of 4 stars

-Alexis Cupp