John Bennett had no friends when he was younger so he made a Christmas wish that his teddy bear would be able to talk to him and be his best friend for life. Obviously, it came true, because Patrick Stewart (the narrator) tells us that there is nothing more powerful than a Christmas wish, or something to that effect. This starts out great, but 25 years later they are still inseparable, and the friggin teddy bear has turned John into essentially a "man-child." This weird relationship between a man and his perverted talking teddy bear is beginning to take a toll on John's relationship with his girlfriend, who understandably wants John to be at least a remotely responsibility human being and to love her more than that darn bear.
True, Family Guy, which was once a clever, hilarious show has been, for approximately the past 4 years a huge pile of crap. It amazes me that it is still on, that people still watch it, and that FOX is giving MacFarlane millions of dollars for making three very similar programs. Doing the same joke again and again, for 12 minutes straight is not funny. It just shows that you no longer want to write an entire episode, but prefer to just write 5 minutes of actual story and jokes.
That was my brief Family Guy rant. Ted luckily is a lot funnier, although perhaps a bit long for a comedy and I really hated the subplot of a creepy man and his creepy overweight son kidnapping Ted, because they were apparently obsessed with him. Also, I do not find Joel McHale funny. He plays Lori's boss who is always flirting with her, but annoyed me as much as he does on the show Community. I just don't find him funny and he always seems like he is completely full of himself. Also, some jokes were sacrilegious and offensive, which I was obviously expecting because I have seem many episodes of Family Guy in my day. I cannot repeat some of the jokes in this blog, since that would just make me uncomfortable. However, just because I was expecting it does not mean that I have to find it funny. It is absolutely possible to make a crude comedy and still have it be clever, such as Bridesmaids.
Alright, so what did I like about the movie? Some great jokes and pop culture references which are reasons why I love the earlier years of Family Guy. Ted included a scene where he was digitally added into an episode of The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson (Ted becomes a celebrity after he is brought to life, forgot to mention that). There's also a great spoof of a scene from Airplane!, a hilarious cameo by an attractive celebrity, whose name I will not reveal, the briefest nod to the Indiana Jones franchise, and all sorts of random cutaway scenes and references that people familiar with MacFarlane's shows are used to by now.
Also, I think Mark Wahlberg is hilarious. I first found out he was funny when I saw The Other Guys
with him and Will Ferrell. He is an incredibly talented actor. That last sentence is proven immediately upon watching him in The Fighter and Ted. And I just loved Wahlberg going through about 30 white trash girls names, trying to guess the name of the grocery store cashier tramp that Ted was infatuated with.
Two scenes are also in the film which reminded me of those awful chicken fights in Family Guy and scenes where Stewie is beating up Brian for 20 minutes. I hated those two types of scenes in Ted. Even MacFarlane can do better.
If you like the cast (and are willing to overlook the fact that Wahlberg and Kunis made kind of a weird couple, even though their age difference isn't even that big), liked any stage of Family Guy, like innapropriate, sometimes funny movies, then give it a shot. I personally enjoyed it, especially after being able to embrace how utterly ridiculous the plot of the movie was.
2 and a half stars out of 4...I just hope Seth MacFarlane doesn't try to push his luck by becoming a movie director more frequently. No matter how funny his shows and this movie can be, deep down he thinks he is way funnier than he really is.
-Joseph Sbrilli
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