Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

The Greek gods are back, meddling in affairs in ways that would make Scooby-doo and the gang proud.

          

"Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief," besides suffering from ridiculously-long-name syndrome, is the latest in Hollywood’s attempt to crack open the cash piñata that is children’s book series. The problem with "The Lightning Thief" is that the Narnia and the Harry Potter series get a release almost every year, and they are much, much better.

           

Percy Jackson is a demi-god, the son of Poseidon (the god of water/earthquakes) and a mortal woman. Percy is the only one in the entire movie who can’t seem to figure this out. Every character is practically winking at him every time someone mentions, “the gods” or, “the gods have sons” or, “Percy Jackson, your dad is Poseidon.”

            

The world of the Olympians is in turmoil; Zeus, the god of lightning, has lost his lightning bolt and based on no evidence whatsoever, blames Percy Jackson for stealing it. The bolt must be returned to Zeus by the summer solstice or the gods will have to start a war because they have the brain capacity of all-powerful three year olds. Percy Jackson is a little stressed out by this because A) Zeus wants to kill him, B) He didn’t actually steal the lightning bolt and C) The summer solstice is fourteen days after he discovers that he is a demi-god. He has to team up with the daughter of Athena, and his crippled friend who turns out to be a Satyr (which is a half goat, half man that isn’t crippled) to seek out the lightning bolt, and return it to Zeus.

            

That’s not a bad plot for a 200-300 page book; but in a two hour movie, glaring plot holes begin to pop up that tend to ruin the movie-going experience. All of the main characters are amateur actors who tend to have difficulty delivering lines, although Logan Lerman, who plays Percy, does very well for his first major role. His sidekick, the Satyr, played by Brandon T. Jackson, degenerates into a non-funny version of Eddie Murphy’s Donkey in "Shrek."

            

The CGI in "Percy Jackson" is adequately done, but the best part of the movie is watching Uma Thurman play Medusa and Steve Coogan as a guitar collecting Hades. Also of note, the greatest scene in the movie, which had me giggling uncontrollably, happens when the main characters enter a casino and eat Lotus flowers (the Greek equivalent of marijuana). The director puts on a rainbow tint, and as the characters quickly turn into potheads, Lady Gaga’s "Poker Face" plays in the background. Brilliant.

            

This series has the potential, and I believe it can grow into something better, just as the Harry Potter series has, but the actors need time to grow into their characters. Check it out if you’ve read the book, but otherwise, wait for the DVD.

2 out of 5 stars.

-Christopher O’Connell

Here's the book if you want to check it out. The Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Book One: Lightning Thief Deluxe Edition