From Paris With Love: A Quick Review

After recently watching "Bad Boys II", "From Paris With Love" feels like the shorter, less pretty sister of all action movies. You would date her if you really had to but you don't particularly want to. Jonathan Rhys Meyers plays some no name CIA agent who only has one face for every emotion in the book. He is horribly mismatched with John Travolta as Charlie Wax, a CIA spec ops agent. Travolta's character feels pretty much rehashed from "The Taking of Pelham 123." Together they're out to kill drug dealers and terrorists and pretty much anyone in Paris that isn't caucasian. Well, Travolta does, Meyers just stands around complaining about the morals of the situation. The action scenes are decently done, with Travolta doing all the stunts and shooting, and all the acting actually. I like how my grandpa described it, an entertaining action flick with absolutely no social value at all. Don't read into the film much deeper than the fact that there's explosions and gunfights. Otherwise stay far away from this one. And the scene in the poster doesn't happen. It's a lie, that particular scene isn't as exciting as its made out to be.


-Christopher O'Connell

Kramer vs. Kramer: A Quick Review

"Kramer vs. Kramer," released in 1979, was written and directed by Robert Benton.  It stars Dustin Hoffman and Meryl Streep.  The film won 5 Academy Awards: Best Picture, Best Director, Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Actor for Dustin Hoffman and Best Supporting Actress for Meryl Streep.  This film is fantastic.  Dustin Hoffman and Meryl Streep play Ted and Joanna Kramer.  Together they have a young son.  One day Joanna decides she is going to leave Ted and their son.  A year and a half later her life is more on track and she wants her son back.  The Kramers have to go to court for custody of their son, Billy.  Dustin Hoffman and Meryl Streep are two of the best actors to come out of this country and are two of my personal favorites.  They give fantastic performances here...of course a solid script always helps too.  Both performances are flawless and feel so real.  The movie is incredibly emotional and moving and likely would not have had such an impact without the great casting.  The supporting cast also is great, I just won't mention them by name.  The film visually looks beautiful, with several tracking shots throughout and overall very nice composition.  "Kramer vs. Kramer" is a great, classic film...very moving and brilliantly acted.  It's in my top 10 movies of all time.


-Joseph Sbrilli

Bad Boys II: A Quick Review

Despite the terribleness of the latest Transformers movies, I don't have a thing against Michael Bay. He is a solid director who knows how to entertain and how to make solid action sequences. "Bad Boys II" is a superb action film, unlike "Bad Boys" which just isn't very good. Will Smith and Martin Lawrence play two wise-cracking no-nonsense narcotics detectives, who would rather shoot first and then shoot second as well. They are following the trail of a cuban drug lord who is plaguing Miami with an influx of ecstasy. Obviously, Will Smith dominates this feature, being the more badass of the two main characters. Martin Lawrence isn't as much of a bad ass but the constant quips between the two and hilarious dialogue make this movie a must see. The movie has some pretty cheesy parts and plot holes begin to show up by the end, but the set pieces are huge, the actors know what they're doing and they're prepared to take you along for the ride.


-Christopher O'Connell




Bad Boys II (Widescreen Edition)

She's Out of my League

"She’s Out Of My League" may sound like a self-help seminar for unattractive, awkward males (that’s what the look from the girl at the ticket counter told me, very judgmentally, I might add), but the film is anything but that. It really is just the story of a guy who got really lucky.

          

 Kirk, played by Jay Baruchel, is a low-level, socially awkward TSA security agent, rated a 5 by his peers, who somehow lands a date with blonde bombshell Molly (Alice Eve). Molly is a 10, and if this were the real world, she wouldn’t give Kirk the time of day. But since Molly seems to like him, he has to try his hardest to not screw it up, which if you’ve seen any romantic comedy since the invention of film, you know that he is going to screw it up, and that it is going to be very funny.

           

Jay Baruchel may be the only problem I have with this movie. I enjoyed him when he made his debut in "Tropic Thunder" as a supporting actor but he isn’t a good leading man (Hollywood disagrees because he has three movies coming out this year alone). He isn’t believable as the lucky guy who gets the hot girl, mostly because he has the body of a ten-year-old child, and because he acts with his arms. If Baruchel needs to show some sort of emotion he does it by flailing his skinny little arms in the air, the way normal people do when they want to really exaggerate a “what in the world are you talking about?” moment. It's like he was trying to make himself look bigger in case any large predators were around. I half expected a hawk to swoop down and carry him off while he squeaked in protest.

            

Thankfully, he is surrounded by a whole host of supporting characters who spend their time rescuing the movie from Baruchel. His three friends take the brunt of the work and although they are all no-name actors, they do a pretty good job. Fans of "That 70’s Show" will be pleased to see Kitty pulling out her trademark grin and high-pitched laughter. Many of the characters are overplayed, much like "Stepbrothers" was, but it actually feels perfect in this film and makes it significantly funnier. Top all that off with a surprisingly charming leading lady and you’ve got a comedy that lifts itself above just mere mediocrity. That, and a scene depicting the “sprucing up” of a man’s “combat” zone for relations of an intimate nature, makes it worth a watch.

Predictability and Jay Baruchel aside, "She’s Out Of My League" isn’t a bad film and is at least worth a matinee.

2 and a half out of 4 stars

-Christopher O’Connell

Good Night and Good Luck: A Quick Review

Robert Downey Jr., George Clooney, Jeff Daniels, all directed by George Clooney. Look at that cast, how could you go wrong? "Good Night, and Good Luck" is the story of new reporter Edward R. Murrow and his campaign against Senator Joe McCarthy during the Cold War. McCarthy spent his senatorial days accusing members of our government of being card-carrying communists, creating a state of fear that paralyzed the nation for a time. Murrow and his news team set about debunking McCarthy's claims and bringing back calm to a troubled nation. The movie is pretty fantastic, filmed completely in black and white. Being a history buff I knew that eventually I would have to see this and I am glad that I did. There is a lot of dialogue in this movie and some scenes can feel a little extended, but the entire film is well acted, well scripted, and if you can appreciate a good true story told fairly well "Good Night and Good Luck" is a safe bet.


Good Night, and Good Luck (Widescreen Edition)


-Christopher O'Connell

Identity: A Quick Review

"Identity" is a psychological thriller that was released in 2003 and directed by James Mangold ("Girl, Interrupted," "Walk the Line," "3:10 to Yuma.")  James Mangold is one of my favorite directors as far as recent directors go.  Those three movies mentioned above would be reasons for that statement.  "Identity" is yet more proof that people should never go to motels...death always occurs.  Malcolm Rivers is about to be executed for the murders of several people at the aforementioned motel.  We'll leave it at that for now...  John Cusack, Amanda Peet, Ray Liotta, John C. McGinley, Alfred Molina, among others, make up the cast.  If you like "Shutter Island" you will most likely like this as well...and vice versa.  I really enjoyed "Identity."  The cast was good and it was entertaining throughout and short enough so my ADD didn't quite set in.


-Joseph Sbrilli

Taxi Driver: A Quick Review

Martin Scorsese + Robert DeNiro + Bernard Herrmann = classic American film.  "Taxi Driver" came out in 1976.  And it should have won Best Picture, but it didn't because "Rocky" stole it...though that's a great movie, too.  "Taxi Driver" was the second of eight collaborations between Martin Scorsese and Robert DeNiro, then Scorsese ditched DeNiro for Leonardo DiCaprio.  Robert DeNiro plays Travis Bickle.  He's a mentally unstable Vietnam War veteran, who, among doing other things, tries to help a 13 year old prostitute named Iris (Jodie Foster) get a better life.  The film looks great.  This is because Martin Scorsese is one of the greatest directors.  "Taxi Driver" also sounds great and this is because Bernard Herrmann is one of the best film score composers...if you don't believe me watch and listen to "Psycho."  "Taxi Driver" is regarded as a classic and for good reason...it's a phenomenal movie with a great performance by Robert DeNiro.  Be a good American and watch it and learn to love it.


-Joseph Sbrilli

The Ghost Writer

DISCLAIMER: I hate Roman Polanski (the man).  He is a rapist and should have been in jail for several years, but, being a coward, he skipped out of the country for three decades.  And that is why all his movies since then have been filmed outside of the United States.  However I can't deny that the man directs great movies.  I've actually only seen "The Ghost Writer" and "Chinatown," but I have heard great things about "Rosemary's Baby" and "The Pianist."


"The Ghost Writer," was indeed directed by Roman Polanski, as was previously stated and semi-ranted about.  It stars Ewan McGregor, Pierce Brosnan, Kim Cattrall, and Olivia Williams.  The movie is based off the book "The Ghost" by Robert Harris.


Ewan McGregor plays "the Ghost."  He becomes the one to ghost-write the memoirs of former prime minister, Adam Lang (Pierce Brosnan).  The first ghost writer died under mysterious circumstances.  It also appears that Lang is accused of being involved with war crimes (like members of the CIA torturing alleged terrorists.)  Kim Cattrall plays Amelia, Adam Lang's assistant and mistress and Olivia Williams plays his wife, Ruth.  There's much more to the plot.  That's just an overview.  I don't want to spoil anything for people...like Wikipedia is so exceptional at doing.


Ewan McGregor...I hadn't seen him in much before this.  I saw him in the "Star Wars" prequel trilogy...where a certain CGI-obsessed man named George Lucas decided to destroy his classic franchise.  Then last year I saw him in "The Men Who Stare at Goats"...in case anyone was wondering.  "The Ghost Writer" completely relies on his performance.  He is in just about every scene in the movie and interacts with pretty much every other cast member.  And he's great. Every conversation that he has, especially with Pierce Brosnan and Olivia Williams, feels natural.  I'm not a fan of Pierce Brosnan...at all...I find him incredibly annoying...but he wasn't bad at all in "The Ghost Writer."  Of course only being in a handful of scenes probably helped. So yeah...don't not see this movie just because he's in it...although he is great reason to avoid "Mamma Mia!"  The rest of the cast is great, too, but Ewan McGregor and Pierce Brosnan are the main actors so I figured I would single them out.


The score!  It's really great.  A thriller is pretty much nothing without a great score.  The score can add to a movie or make it horrendous...like "Carrie" - worst score ever. Well anyways, it adds to the intensity of the movie and it just seems to build as the audience (and Mr. McGregor and company) find out key information as the plot unfolds.  I'm also relatively certain that mostly stringed instruments were used...nice move on whoever's part.  Without out it the movie would definitely be missing something.


Visually the movie is pretty simple.  There's no crazy camera movements or quick edits or anything going on here...which is not a bad thing...since impressive cinematography and editing doesn't make a great movie...it merely helps.


The movie felt like it moved a little slow at times.  Especially at the beginning.  Towards the end things start happening really fast.  Either that or my 4 hours of sleep renders me completely incapable of keeping up with a political thriller...which is sad...and hopefully when I rent this on DVD I will understand everything...eh...I can hope.  Also, a scene toward the end (that I won't spoil) was a strange combination of really interesting and slightly forced and unlikely.


As an aside, it's nice watching a movie where there's actually an intelligible plot and dialogue and not just tons of horrible CGI or hundreds of really extended actions scenes...which generally speaking - unless you're "The Dark Knight " or something - means you are just too lazy to write a good movie.


I was impressed.  It's only March and already I have seen 2 great movies in theaters...and both of them thrillers, which just makes things a little bit better.  I personally peferred "Shutter Island" to this because it's psychological and Martin Scorsese...two legitmate reasons.  However, Roman Polanski cranked out an overall great movie.  Great performances by the actors and engaging just about the entire time.  I would recommend this to people...I personally think it would be worth your money...if you're going to go the movies you might as well have a great experience.  3 1/2 out of 4 stars.


-Joseph Sbrilli

Kill Bill: Volumes 1 and 2: A Quick Review

In late 2003 "Kill Bill: Volume 1" was released.  Early in 2004 "Kill Bill: Volume 2" came out.  Writer-director Quentin Tarantino originally wanted it to be just one movie.  But that would have been too long so he split it up and released them close together.  And the tricky man got people to buy two tickets to what essentially is one movie.  That's why I am reviewing the two movies in one review - even though they are way different.  "Volume 1" has a lot of Samurai action involving swords and such.  This includes blood absolutely spraying everywhere because heads and limbs do in fact come off...and it's quite a geyser of blood.  There also is a horrible anime sequence that got me in a really bad mood because I personally hate anime with a burning passion...but that might just be me.  That scene was my least favorite out of both movies.  "Volume 2" on the other hand has a lot more dialogue and the plot is further explained and such.  I personally liked this one better...for me, anyway, there was a little too much Samurai action in the first one...it got pretty tiring at times.  Quentin Tarantino is fantastic at writing and fleshing out characters and such.  The second one also had a few scenes filmed in black and white...which I really enjoyed since I love black and white videography...and it fit well in certain scenes.  Both films have fantastic cinematography.  It's stunning, the camera shots that were caught on film are visually extremely engrossing and appealing - basically what I have come to expect from Quentin Tarantino.  The movie stars Uma Thurman as "The Bride." She's an assassin, she was pregnant, and she's got a list of people to kill.  Which I guess makes sense if you're an assassin because they did try to kill you.  That's the really simplified plot.  The rest of the cast includes David Carradine as "Bill," Vivica A. Fox, Lucy Lui, and other who play assassins and such.  There are tons of flashbacks in both parts.  Quentin Taratino realizes that sometimes a movie playing out chronology is just really boring and normal.  I, of course, got massively confused a couple times during it.  But that was all my fault, not Quentin Tarantino's.  So I've kind of been raving about this movie...weird, I know. The other half of this blog hates "Kill Bill" and that's fine because all sorts of people hate all sorts of movies for various reasons.  I really enjoyed "Kill Bill," the acting, directing, script, music (I forgot to mention this before, but the music is phenomenal), everything was extremely well done.  However, I will, for the remainder of my life stick with this statement...and feel free to quote me on it..."Quentin Tarantino will never be able to top "Pulp Fiction"...ever...in his entire career."  So basically the main idea is that I think Quentin Tarantino is a great film writer-director...of course looking at him one would assume that he is completely full of himself...but whatever.  Start with "Pulp Fiction" and if you enjoy that then check out some of his other work and I think most people would highly enjoy it.


By the way, sorry that that was a massive paragraph...I use quick reviews as an opportunity to make no effort to separate into paragraphs or organize my words...kind of a stream of consciousness kind of thing going on here.


-Joseph Sbrilli


Alternate Review:


I hate "Kill Bill," so very very much. It was the equivalent of flossing with barbedwire whilst dropping fire ants down my pants.


-Christopher O'Connell

Green Zone

"Green Zone" was directed by Paul Greengrass ("Bourne Surpemacy" and "Bourne Ultimatum").  It stars Matt Damon, Greg Kinnear, and several other people who are not as well known as the aforementioned actors...purely my opinion  The movie is based off the book "Imperial Life in the Emeral City," by Rajiv Chandrasekaran.


"The Green Zone" takes place in Iraq in 2003.  Matt Damon plays Roy Miller, a Chief Warrant Officer who is in charge of of a group of men trying to find weapons of mass destruction that they think are out in the desert.  Yeah I am awful at giving the synopses of movies...in my defense I have a horrible memory. So watch the trailer and decide if it seems like it's worth your time.


Sometime after seeing "Invictus" in December I decided that I love Matt Damon.  And for good reason, he's a great actor and proves time and time again that he is capable of playing the lead in a movie.  He was the main reason for me wanting to see "Green Zone" to begin with.  Matt Damon is great in this movie and puts most of the other people in the cast to shame...That may be a really broad statement, but I'm pretty fine with that.


The shaky handheld camera work of the "Bourne" movies are back.  And they turned out pretty great.  The  quick edits and shaky camera work were very effective.  It added a sense of intensity and added to the action.  It didn't, for me, anyway, get distracting at all as I was watching the movie.  All of the quick camera pans back and forth, etc seemed completely thought out.  I felt like this technique is especially useful for a war movie...since I'm a definite expert on that subject...  The visuals in general were very well done in the movie, with the explosions, gunfire, aerial shots, and any other action-related thing one can think of.


I really don't like war movies.  I usually can't handle them and I get bored and confused so easily for some reason...maybe I just need more dialogue...who knows . The exception to this rule is of course "Saving Private Ryan" which is one of the best movies that I have seen. I guess that's what happens when Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks join forces.  So generally speaking, I am one of the worst people to review a war movie, like "Green Zone" for instance.  So take from that what you will and that's the reason why this is a pretty sketchy, skimpy review.


So I don't like war movies usually and they tend to really confuse me.  I really enjoyed Matt Damon and the camera work, though.  Watch the trailer and decide if you feel like seeing it.  It did get a low rating on RottenTomatoes, if you trust that sort of thing...I usually do...it's a good reference for movie reviews.  I was entertained though and was glad it wasn't longer because it would have gotten tedious...2 1/2 out of 4 stars.


-Joseph Sbrilli   

Oscars!

Well, we already posted our predictions for the Oscars and the total is: Joe: 9 out of 19 right, ChrisO: 10 out of 18 right.


I say that's pretty good, about 50% right for both of us. Although neither of us saw "The Hurt Locker" taking Best Director or Best Picture.


Can't wait to do this again next year!

Gangs of New York: A Quick Review

I recently decided that I should check out everything made by Martin Scorsese, and so far I have not been disappointed. "Gangs of New York" is the version of the Civil War that you didn't learn about in history class. It is all about the riots that took place in the city in opposition to the draft imposed by Lincoln. Many Irish immigrants would get off the boat from Ireland and then put right back on another boat to go and fight. The Irish and other immigrants rose up and could only be put down by the guns of the Union Army. Anyways "Gangs of New York" is a pretty good flick. You can see Leonardo DiCaprio growing out of his boyish face roles of earlier movies and into the strong leading man for Scorsese movies. Daniel Day-Lewis is always good, that comes as no surprise because when Daniel Day-Lewis acts badly in a movie, the Pope will probably stop being Catholic. John C. Reilly is great in his role, especially since I'm used to him trying to be funny alongside Will Ferrel in every movie. Liam Neeson and Brendan Gleeson make good appearances in the movie as well. It's a pretty good film, and if you like Irish accents coming at you from every direction, give it a go.


-Christopher O'Connell


DVD link: Gangs of New York

Alice in Wonderland

"Alice in Wonderland" was directed by Tim Burton and stars Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Anne Hathaway, and Mia Wasikowska.  It also features the voice talents of Alan Rickman, Timothy Spall, Crispin Glover, Michael Sheen, and others.  Yes, four of those people worked on Tim Burton's last outing, "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street."  It is a continuation of and is based off the novels, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass," both written by Lewis Carroll.


Alice (Mia Wasikowska) went through the rabbit hole and into Wonderland when she was 7.  Twelve years have passed and she's back.  Apparently she is the only person who can kill the Jabberwocky, a dragon, and end the Red Queen's (Helena Bonham Carter) rule. Johnny Depp plays the Mad Hatter and Anne Hathaway is the White Queen.  The rest of the cast pretty much voices computer generated characters.


The positive points: The score...yes, it's definitely Danny Elfman again, because he and Tim Burton love each other (Tim Burton also loves Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter for those who are not aware).  True, his scores sound very similar, but they are usually dark, intense, and compelling, which is what you want with a Tim Burton movie.  Tim Burton's visuals and Danny Elfman's score have been complimenting one another for over 2 decades now.  Johnny Depp is a strange combination between Willy Wonka, Jack Sparrow, and Sweeney Todd in this movie as the Mad Hatter.  Yes, that is really strange...as his character is...and as he plays very well.  Of course the man can do pretty much any role put in front of him, but if he weren't in this movie there would be little reason to see it.  He and Helena Bonham Carter definitely steal the show, as it were.  Something about her and a huge head is amusing to me.  The rest of the cast is good as well, but the focus, as far as interesting characters and actors are concerned, lie with those two.  The movie is dark (especially compared to Disney's 1951 animated version)...which is always fun because it is a Tim Burton movie...but it just seems less Tim Burton than some of his other ones...which is sad.


The negative points: The movie starts slow and isn't really interesting until she falls into the rabbit hole.  Of course when she does we enter a gigantic green screen.  And it is utterly - horrible...for the most part anyway - there are some exceptions, which I'm sure are obvious to those who decide to watch it.  Computer generated images are one of the most horrible things about the movie industry.  One would think that after nearly 2 decades we would be able to get realistic looking computer generated images for the screen.  That is a tremendous falsehood.  It's awful when the computer generated effects from "Jurassic Park" (in 1993!) are more real-looking.  The computer generated effects look terribly fake in "Alice in Wonderland" and made me wish for stop motion, animatronics...2-D hand drawn animation...anything else.  Also, the ending was weak.  There's a nice little face-off between Alice and the dragon...ok...fun...kind of doesn't fit with the tone of the rest of the movie, but whatever.  And then for some reason Johnny Depp feels the need to dance and it was embarrassingly horrible.  I got awful flashbacks from the male stripper in "The Proposal"....awful...unnecessary....choose whatever word you want.  Then the credits hit and there is one more horrible experience before you get back in the car and head home from the cinema.  Yes, Avril Lavigne is in "Alice in Wonderland," at least her voice is as she sings some horrible song that I assume gets most people in a really bad mood because it doesn't fit the movie at all and she is just terrible.


Well, I love Tim Burton...generally speaking.  I got to say I am not a fan of "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," however, and I got a similar vibe watching this movie.  "Alice is Wonderland" is a very strange follow-up to "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street," which was a fantastic movie, 4 stars, and one of my favorites in the last decade. His newest one was okay....except for the ending, the awful computer generated effects, and Avril Lavigne.  However, watching Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter, listening to Danny Elfman's score, and looking at Tim Burton visuals that weren't done on the computer...if there were any, is some form of enjoyment.  I would say rent it or if you must see it in theaters go to a matinee or use a coupon and don't see it in 3-D because it's too expensive.  The movie has gotten mostly negative reviews though, so take from that what you will...so basically rent "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" and if you can stomach the large amounts of blood and great music you will thoroughly enjoy it.  2 out of 4 stars.


-Joseph Sbrilli

Cop Out

If you look at RottenTomatoes or IMDb or any site that piles reviews together like a giant fruit salad of film critique, you may have come to the conclusion that "Cop Out" isn't worth your time, money, or mental capacity.


This is where you and I completely disagree.


Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan star as detectives Jimmy Monroe and Paul Hodges in Kevin Smith's latest directorial outing. The plot is about as confusing as it gets. Both Monroe and Hodges get suspended for being bad cops, Monroe needs to pay for his daughter's wedding with an old baseball card that gets stolen and eventually they get involved with drug-dealing Mexicans trying to get the card back. Okay, maybe this movie's plot isn't worth your mental capacity.


The words 'ridiculous' and 'utterly confusing' came to mind after I read that last paragraph. It's true, I admit it, and it probably has to do with the fact that Kevin Smith didn't write the script but instead just directed it.


I took a cue from Bruce Willis at the beginning of the film. He has the same look in the movie poster above. Look at that smirk, he knows this movie is going to be stupid, he knows that it's not going to go down as cinematic greatness, but he also knows he shouldn't take it too seriously and neither should you. I know I didn't.


I laughed from start to finish. As soon as I decided to not take this movie seriously, I spent the rest of the time focusing on the dialogue and delivery. All the dialogue is amazingly funny and had me in stitches. Tracy Morgan is by far the star of the film, pumping out line after line. Seann William Scott also has an incredibly funny role and Bruce Willis obviously had a great time making this movie.


I had a great time watching "Cop Out." It was definitely worth the matinee. If you can only take movies seriously skip this one, but if you love "30 Rock" give it a go. You won't be disappointed.


3 out of 4 stars

-Christopher O'Connell

Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

The Greek gods are back, meddling in affairs in ways that would make Scooby-doo and the gang proud.

          

"Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief," besides suffering from ridiculously-long-name syndrome, is the latest in Hollywood’s attempt to crack open the cash piñata that is children’s book series. The problem with "The Lightning Thief" is that the Narnia and the Harry Potter series get a release almost every year, and they are much, much better.

           

Percy Jackson is a demi-god, the son of Poseidon (the god of water/earthquakes) and a mortal woman. Percy is the only one in the entire movie who can’t seem to figure this out. Every character is practically winking at him every time someone mentions, “the gods” or, “the gods have sons” or, “Percy Jackson, your dad is Poseidon.”

            

The world of the Olympians is in turmoil; Zeus, the god of lightning, has lost his lightning bolt and based on no evidence whatsoever, blames Percy Jackson for stealing it. The bolt must be returned to Zeus by the summer solstice or the gods will have to start a war because they have the brain capacity of all-powerful three year olds. Percy Jackson is a little stressed out by this because A) Zeus wants to kill him, B) He didn’t actually steal the lightning bolt and C) The summer solstice is fourteen days after he discovers that he is a demi-god. He has to team up with the daughter of Athena, and his crippled friend who turns out to be a Satyr (which is a half goat, half man that isn’t crippled) to seek out the lightning bolt, and return it to Zeus.

            

That’s not a bad plot for a 200-300 page book; but in a two hour movie, glaring plot holes begin to pop up that tend to ruin the movie-going experience. All of the main characters are amateur actors who tend to have difficulty delivering lines, although Logan Lerman, who plays Percy, does very well for his first major role. His sidekick, the Satyr, played by Brandon T. Jackson, degenerates into a non-funny version of Eddie Murphy’s Donkey in "Shrek."

            

The CGI in "Percy Jackson" is adequately done, but the best part of the movie is watching Uma Thurman play Medusa and Steve Coogan as a guitar collecting Hades. Also of note, the greatest scene in the movie, which had me giggling uncontrollably, happens when the main characters enter a casino and eat Lotus flowers (the Greek equivalent of marijuana). The director puts on a rainbow tint, and as the characters quickly turn into potheads, Lady Gaga’s "Poker Face" plays in the background. Brilliant.

            

This series has the potential, and I believe it can grow into something better, just as the Harry Potter series has, but the actors need time to grow into their characters. Check it out if you’ve read the book, but otherwise, wait for the DVD.

2 out of 5 stars.

-Christopher O’Connell

Here's the book if you want to check it out. The Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Book One: Lightning Thief Deluxe Edition