Total Recall

I always get pumped for science fiction movies. Why? Who knows. Most of them are pretty bad. There's something about the future that will always fascinate us. How will we live? How will we interact? What new, exciting ways can we come up with to kill someone? Can we remake a movie from the 90's that was widely considered pretty great and hope that it stands on par? Not in this case, but that doesn't mean that Total Recall didn't do some things right.

Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell) is an average, if distinctly better looking, regular dude. He lives in Australia, also known as the colony. After some crazy war, the only two places on Earth that are inhabitable are the United Kingdom, known as the United British Federation, and Australia, the colony. Everyone who lives in the colony is your working class blue collar poor people that has surprisingly Asian tastes. They all basically work for the UBF. The only means of transport between the two places is a giant train that goes through the center of the Earth between the two every day, which you have to admit is pretty dang cool.

Well, Quaid is pretty unsatisfied with life, even though his wife is a super hot Kate Beckinsale. He decides to go to Rekall, a place that can put imaginary memories inside of your head so it feels like you lived as a spy or a supermodel or something else cool. Quaid goes and right as he's being plugged in, the machine freaks out and cops break in and kill everyone. And then Quaid kills all of the cops. Now he's running around the colony and UBF trying to figure out if what he is experiencing is real or fake while at the same time uncovering a conspiracy and stopping the war.

I don't want to ruin too much more but its pretty obvious from the get-go that he is not suffering from recall memories at all. Sorry to burst that bubble but the movie doesn't really care about that. It cares about action sequences.

And boy, does it have action sequences. Car chases, lots and lots of bullets, elevator chases, and a final badguy vs. hero showdown. It's all pretty fun.

Oh and BRYAN CRANSTON IS THE BAD GUY. And it's amazing. Non Breaking Bad fans are really missing out on this man right now. But seeing him on the big screen growling and kicking ass just makes me want more of him all the time.

The problem with Total Recall is its predecessor. It just doesn't compare. It's not groundbreaking, it has a few cool ideas, but at its core it is just a slightly above average sci-fi big budget action flick. And that is fine, everyone should stop complaining about it because it is way better than the Bourne movie.

2.5 out of 4 stars

P.S. Where's the accents? Only Kate Beckinsale really uses hers and it's based in Britain. Colin Farrell is literally Irish. Use the accents, would have been way cooler.

Moonrise Kingdom

How do you review a movie created by Wes Anderson? I ran into this problem a couple years back after seeing The Fantastic Mr. Fox. How can I talk about a film that reaches astounding levels of emotional depth and directorial mastery while at the same time employing quirks and strange oddities that have no place in a sane movie? It is films like this that let me know I will never be a true "critic", because there is just a point in these sorts of movies that I reach where my mind screams out, "I just don't get it. And I probably never will."

Moonrise Kingdom is a love story. It's a coming of an age story. It's a story of reconciliation. Of marraige. Of suicide. Of becoming a man. With so many characters, it can't just be one tale of one or two people. Famous actors and actresses like Bill Murray, Tilda Swinton, Edward Norton, Bruce Willis, Jason Schwartzman, and Frances McDormand sit above a bevy of budding child actors and act as backdrops for the love story between young Sam Shakusky (Jared Gilman) and Suzy Bishop (Kara Hayward). Sam is a lonely orphan, disliked by literally everyone, especially his foster home parents and his khaki scout co-troopers whom he is stuck with on the small New England island of New Penzance. But despite being ridiculed by everyone, he is surprisingly smart, confident, and survival savvy. Suzy lives on New Penzance with her parents and three brothers. She is also lonely and very perturbed when she discovers her adulterous mom has a book entitled "Coping with a Troubled Child." She and Sam started as pen pals after meeting at a church play. They decide to run away together and live by themselves forever on the island. This of course leads to various adults of the island, the sheriff (Willis), Suzy's parents (Murray and McDormand), and the khaki scout leader and his troops (Norton) going on an island wide manhunt to find them.

That is the ultimate story, Suzy and Sam finding solace in each other while the world spins around them. Seeking to get away from their broken relationships to build a new one. Honest to God, it's pretty cute. Sam's self assuredness with the things he knows and the things he doesn't is the perfect foil to Suzy's tag along but strong willed character. And the fact that Sam smokes a pipe while Suzy reads to him is fantastic.

But like any Wes Anderson film, Moonrise Kingdom is weird. All of his movies are weird. They're very quirky in ways that would put a contemporary audience in an off mood. And that is why I say that I will never get it. Because don't get me wrong, Moonrise Kingdom is a film school nerd's wet dream. It's a critics wet dream, and I guarantee one or two oscar nominations for writing and cinematography at the very least. But it's just a little too indie.

The film is wonderfully shot and the dialogue is mmm mmm delicious. I have two favorite parts, one when Sam tells Suzy, "I love you, but you have no idea what you are talking about." And when McDormand tells Murray that they have to stay together because they are all their kids have. Murray replies, "That's not enough." I gasped. It was so good. You have to see it to feel the power in such subtle scenes.

And Wes Anderson is the king of subtle performances. And I believe he draws out the best of them in here. So, Moonrise Kingdom is beautiful, full of wonderful writing and has terrific actors who never steal the show from one another. Except maybe Bill Murray because he is always hilarious. But the film is just a little weird for a guy like me. It's hard to chew on. And I believe it is about a half hour too long, dragging on with the introduction of even more characters. But it is by and far my favorite Wes Anderson movie (I've only seen a few though.) Any student of film will adore this movie but non fans of the indie circuit might not be able to access it very easily.

3 out of 4 stars

-Christopher O'Connell

The Dark Knight Rises

"What does it mean?" "Rise." Prisoners chant in an old language, encouraging, or taunting, the ones who risk everything for freedom. To an untrained ear, it sounds like they are chanting for the broken city, This is Gotham. No, this is Nolan. Rounding out the epic trilogy of Bruce Wayne in glorious fashion. It's the rare second sequel, the coups de grâce of filmmaking. This is Batman.


Set eight years after the events of the second film, Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) has become an eccentric recluse. He has given up the cape so the world can believe that Batman was the one that murdered Harvey Dent. Commissioner Gordon (Gary Oldman) has to live in the public eye, lying to the people about Harvey's death so that the city can be tough on crime. The organised crime syndicates are dead and the lowlifes and criminals that aren't in jail have moved into Gotham's massive underground tunnels. 


And who is there organizing them? The partially masked villain Bane (Tom Hardy). Famous for being the comic book villain that broke Batman's back, Bane was reduced to henchman status in Joel Schumacher's Batman Forever. Now, thankfully, Nolan has returned Bane to one of Batman's most feared enemies. His plan is to cutoff Gotham from the rest of the world and hold them hostage just to eventually finish them off like Ra's al Ghul wanted in the first film.


Oh yes, The Dark Knight Rises connects very deeply to the first film in the franchise. There is little to no reference to the second film beyond Harvey Dent's death. This is out of respect for Heath Ledger's passing. In some ways it is a bad choice, Heath Ledger was such a pivotal part of the second film, but in others it is a great choice because we have returned to Batman's roots. What makes him tick and if his unwillingness to die shows him to be the craziest of all.


Fans of Nolan's visual style will be pleased. Explosions and grand set pieces abound. Most with the backdrop of the great city of New York. It really is hard to differentiate Gotham and the NYC. The massive fight outside of city hall between the police and Bane's thugs is an epic background to one of the best superhero/supervillian throwdowns of all time. If you are like me, the appearance of the batwing in the trailer was the greatest thing to happen in a movie trailer. Nolan uses the batwing (called just The Bat) gratuitously. Any chance that Batman has to climb into it, he will.


The worst part about The Avengers was the villain. Loki was a very intimidating bad guy. There is no such problem with Bane. Tom Hardy really worked out for the part. The man is massive. And the facemask choice is top notch. Much better than the comic book's Luchador mask. Bane's dialogue is always in short bursts, but what he leaves unsaid is much more powerful than what he says. He boils down the essentials to their ugliest, barest form. Bane is the only bad guy that really makes me fear for Batman's safety. Not only is he smart and calculating, he is Batman's physical match, and in many ways, his superior. He is evil personified. Not just chaos, not just lunacy like the Joker. But the embodiment of the wrong in the world.


Anne Hathaway, surprisingly, plays a top notch catwoman. She was the part I feared for the most in this film. But she really nailed it, playing the sometimes good sometimes bad heroine. 


The problem with a film like this, and any film that takes place years later, is the exposition needed. Clocking in at around 2 hours and 45 minutes, Batman is a hefty view. But even so, I felt it was too short. This feels like the fourth film in the franchise. Like we are missing the third one somewhere along the way. Characters blatantly state morals or reference donning masks like its a common expression. With so many characters running around, like Joseph Gordon Levitt's Officer Blake, many of them don't have time for character development and need to explain their entire motivation in one scene.


But all is forgiven. The gripes I have are overshadowed by the scale of it. The Dark Knight Rises is a great film. This trilogy has raised the bar for superhero movies and the genre in general. It is deep, it is thoughtful and it is one of the most entertaining films of the year. It can get cheesy and there were times when Bale's deep Batman voice made me laugh, but you won't find a film that will cause more discussion about the coolness of the batwing and the degradation of society at the same time. If you haven't already seen it, get to a theater and enjoy one of the best examples of modern filmmaking out there.


He is risen indeed.


3.5 out of 4 stars


-Christopher O'Connell

The Amazing Spiderman

If there is anything I hate in the movie world more than 3-D, it is reboots that happen so quickly that it still feels like they're continuing the original trilogy. I was horrified that they already set out to reboot the Sam Raimi Spider-Man series. And it's probably because Spider-man 3 is one of the, if not THE, worst superhero movies ever. (At least Batman and Robin can be considered campy.) So here we are again, a brand new Spider-man film that makes some very good choices, but also some very mediocre ones at the same time.

Andrew Garfield of "The Social Network" fame has donned the spandex for this film. He definitely looks better for the part considering Tobey Maguire already looked thirty years old when he was Spider-Man. Anyways, the film follows the plot of the first one fairly similarly. Peter Parker is raised by his aunt and uncle. He is in love with a girl, (Gwen Stacy, Emma Stone, the original comic book love interest and way better choice than Kirsten Dunst), who actually gives him the time of day BEFORE he gets superpowers. He gets his powers after being bitten by a spider, that is never explained to be anything that special, on a trip to Oscorp. Which if you remember from the first film is owned by Norman Osbourne, the eventual Green Goblin. Well, he gets his powers, uses them as a metaphor for puberty, his uncle is killed by a gunman, he decides to become a vigilante and then a big green villain threatens the city and Spider-Man has to save the day.

I'm going to talk up the movie's praises right now. The film is very well shot and the CGI doesn't look like a bunch of power rangers flying around the city. But the film's strength lies in the acting and Marc Webb's dance of relationships. Everyone is perfectly cast. Rhys Ifans is pretty creepy as Dr. Connors/Lizard. I especially loved Sally Fields and Martin Sheen as Aunt May and Uncle Ben. They were just wonderful. And Emma Stone is always a darling. The budding relationship between her and Garfield was both believable and fun to watch. Which is the main reason Hollywood got Marc Webb to direct because of his film "500 Days of Summer." When Uncle Ben died, I was heart broken. It was so sad.

Now let's discuss things that I didn't like. WARNING SPOILERS AHEAD.

The movie was touted as more faithful to the comic books and that's why it needed to be redone or whatever. But they really only changed two things, the love interest, and the web shooters. In the comic book, Peter Parker invents his own web shooters after discovering his powers. His first love interest is Gwen Stacy, not Mary Jane.

They stuck close to Gwen Stacy, that was accurate. But the web shooters? No. Peter Parker's "normal" power is that he is basically a science genius. In the comics he invents the web shooters. In the movie he just borrows them from Oscorp. As in he literally orders the web material from Oscorp and builds a device to shoot them. In like 5 minutes. You'd think someone from Oscorp would notice a guy shooting their super strong web material all over town that they freely advertise. When Green Goblin shows up he could just shut down production, whoops no more Spider-man, that was easy.

This isn't from the comics but it made me laugh. Dr. Connors needs like one formula to perfect his antidote for losing limbs or something. Peter just copies a formula from his dead dad's notebook and says it's his. For real? Not only is he not a genius, he's a plagiarizer.


There also is no wrestling scene. They replaced it with a convenience store scene where Peter refuses to stop a convenience store thief. Who kills Uncle Ben. Again, very unlike the comics. He also never catches the convenience store thief, which makes me think they might bring him back as a villain like they did in "Spider-Man 3" God forbid.


And my last irk in this otherwise fine summer entertainmentblockbuster is one that might be solved in the second film. Which could potentially be a genius character arc. In the end, the Lizard kills Gwen Stacy's dad,  New York's police chief, who operated without backup like an idiot. But in his dying words he tells Peter to stay away from his daughter so she doesn't get hurt. Peter says yes, because hey, the man is dying, you can't say no to a dying man. He ignores Gwen, doesn't go to the funeral and acts all emo about it. She confronts him and asks him if "He made you promise, didn't he?" Somehow she figured it out. But then in English class, a teacher talks about broken promises, and Peter whispers to Gwen, "Those are the best kind." And she smiles.


Whoa, douchebag alert. But potential genius alert. And here is why. It's douchey if nothing comes of it. They fall in love and that is that. He broke the promise but it was fine. It is absolute GENIUS when the next film comes out if Gwen dies. In the comics, Spider-Man accidentally kills Gwen when he stops her fall too suddenly, snapping her neck. If this happens, it means that because Peter broke Mr. Stacy's promise, directly leading to the death of Gwen at his hands. I'm all giddy thinking about how potentially good the next film could be.


On the other hand it could be the same thing with more cheese.


So to recap, the new Spidey-boot is fun, well acted and serves its role as the summer movie tent pole. It's pretty cheesy at times but it's worth a view. But it's genius will have to be seen in subsequent sequels.


2 and a half out of 4 stars.


-Christopher O'Connell


P.S. Spider-Man tells so many people that he's actually Peter Parker. Except Aunt May who can't seem to figure it out despite her nephew coming home every day covered in bruises.

Brave

Seventeen years ago a little film studio called Pixar created a little film called Toy Story.  It proved wildly popular with both critics and normal people and led to 12 more films from the studio, the latest being Brave, co-directed by Brenda Chapman and Mark Andrews.  It stars the vocal talents of Kelly Macdonald, Emma Thompson, Billy Connelly, and Pixar's "good luck charm," John Ratzenberger.

The story is definitely not as original as most of the previous Pixar films, such as Wall-E or Up.  Obvious connections can be drawn from classic fairytale Disney films, such as Snow White and the Seven Dwarves and more recent films, such as Tangled.  Brave takes place in Scotland.  Merida (Macdonald) is a tough redheaded princess who plays by her own rules and shoots arrows.  She is convinced that her mother Queen Elinor (Thompson) does not understand her...another extremely popular plot point in the over century long history of Hollywood.  Merida's parents (Connelly voices King Fergus) want her to marry one of the sons from the neighboring clans.  However, it is pretty slim picking and she wants to be able to choose who to marry.  Oh yeah, and Merida makes a deal with a witch (don't ever do that!) which results in her mother turning into a bear (another previous Disney movie reference!)  Apparently if someone whom you have differences with turns into a bear, then it is easier to relate to and understand one another.

This is Pixar so obviously the animation is absolutely brilliant and beautiful.  Even by today's standards the original Toy Story still looks pretty darn good, but things have only gotten better with each passing Pixar film.  Just about everyone who watches or reviews Brave mentions the main characters flowing red locks of hair.  Yes, it is incredible, every single individual strand is essentially flawless.  Also, all other shots of the film look beautiful, as if Scotland was actually filmed. Pixar has a way of animating insanely realistic outdoor shots...mountains, trees, water, etc...you'll probably be impressed.  Lastly, I think animated people will still never look normal, but that's fine, I've come to understand how friggin hard it must be to animate humans.  

In case you forget that this film takes place in Scotland, there is an endless supply of Celtic style music. It was all quite lovely and really sucks you into the time period, setting, and culture of these characters.  

Also, I feel that this film and last years Cars 2 veered slightly toward too immature humor.  This includes cleavage and bare butt jokes.  I know it's not a big deal, but I always thought Pixar was better than that and it sort of caught be off guard.  

Finally, Pixar unfortunately no larger has a spotless track record, which is fine.  Perhaps I just have unrealistic expectations for them and being perfect all the time must have been getting stressful.


Cars 2 ruined that record.  It wasn't even that bad of a movie and the animation and Michael Caine's voice were wonderful.  However, it was completely unnecessary and I feel like it was made mainly to sell more toys for Disney/Pixar. Brave was definitely better (at least it didn't get an awful rating on rottentomatoes.com!), but still not up to par with Toy Story 3 and all the films before.

I just hope that Pixar can get completely back to it roots and return to making original stories that are the perfect blend of humor and emotion, perfect for every member of the human race...Now we have the Monster's Inc. prequel (Monster's University) to look forward to!

2 and a half stars out of 4...and I still will watch every single Pixar movie...the company just evokes trust.  

-Joseph Sbrilli

Ted

Ted is the feature length, live action film debut for Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane.  MacFarlane, using his "Peter Griffin" voice portrays Ted, the drug and sex addicted teddy bear to Mark Wahlberg's John Bennett.  Mila Kunis (aka Meg Griffin) co-stars as John's girlfriend Lori Collins.

John Bennett had no friends when he was younger so he made a Christmas wish that his teddy bear would be able to talk to him and be his best friend for life.  Obviously, it came true, because Patrick Stewart (the narrator) tells us that there is nothing more powerful than a Christmas wish, or something to that effect.  This starts out great, but 25 years later they are still inseparable, and the friggin teddy bear has turned John into essentially a "man-child." This weird relationship between a man and his perverted talking teddy bear is beginning to take a toll on John's relationship with his girlfriend, who understandably wants John to be at least a remotely responsibility human being and to love her more than that darn bear.

True, Family Guy, which was once a clever, hilarious show has been, for approximately the past 4 years a huge pile of crap.  It amazes me that it is still on, that people still watch it, and that FOX is giving MacFarlane millions of dollars for making three very similar programs.  Doing the same joke again and again, for 12 minutes straight is not funny.  It just shows that you no longer want to write an entire episode, but prefer to just write 5 minutes of actual story and jokes.

That was my brief Family Guy rant.  Ted luckily is a lot funnier, although perhaps a bit long for a comedy and I really hated the subplot of a creepy man and his creepy overweight son kidnapping Ted, because they were apparently obsessed with him.  Also, I do not find Joel McHale funny.  He plays Lori's boss who is always flirting with her, but annoyed me as much as he does on the show Community.  I just don't find him funny and he always seems like he is completely full of himself.  Also, some jokes were sacrilegious and offensive, which I was obviously expecting because I have seem many episodes of Family Guy in my day.  I cannot repeat some of the jokes in this blog, since that would just make me uncomfortable.  However, just because I was expecting it does not mean that I have to find it funny.  It is absolutely possible to make a crude comedy and still have it be clever, such as Bridesmaids.


Alright, so what did I like about the movie?  Some great jokes and pop culture references which are reasons why I love the earlier years of Family Guy. Ted included a scene where he was digitally added into an episode of The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson (Ted becomes a celebrity after he is brought to life, forgot to mention that).  There's also a great spoof of a scene from Airplane!, a hilarious cameo by an attractive celebrity, whose name I will not reveal, the briefest nod to the Indiana Jones franchise, and all sorts of random cutaway scenes and references that people familiar with MacFarlane's shows are used to by now.

Also, I think Mark Wahlberg is hilarious.  I first found out he was funny when I saw The Other Guys 
with him and Will Ferrell.  He is an incredibly talented actor.  That last sentence is proven immediately upon watching him in The Fighter and Ted.  And I just loved Wahlberg going through about 30 white trash girls names, trying to guess the name of the grocery store cashier tramp that Ted was infatuated with.

Two scenes are also in the film which reminded me of those awful chicken fights in Family Guy and scenes where Stewie is beating up Brian for 20 minutes.  I hated those two types of scenes in Ted.  Even MacFarlane can do better.

If you like the cast (and are willing to overlook the fact that Wahlberg and Kunis made kind of a weird couple, even though their age difference isn't even that big), liked any stage of Family Guy, like innapropriate, sometimes funny movies, then give it a shot.  I personally enjoyed it, especially after being able to embrace how utterly ridiculous the plot of the movie was.

2 and a half stars out of 4...I just hope Seth MacFarlane doesn't try to push his luck by becoming a movie director more frequently.  No matter how funny his shows and this movie can be, deep down he thinks he is way funnier than he really is.

-Joseph Sbrilli

Prometheus: Quick Review

First and foremost, the other, slightly taller half of this nice little blog has forced me to review this movie.  I did in fact enjoy it, but will have a heck of a time explaining why because I do not understand science fiction or most Ridley Scott films, except possibly Gladiator and Blade Runner.

Prometheus is supposed to be a prequel to his classic film Alien, which spawned 42 sequels that I have yet to see.  Yes, Sigourney Weaver is indeed that tough.  Scott's latest film stars Charlize Theron, Michael Fassbender, Noomi Rapace, and Guy Pearce.

What I gather from IMDB and my terrible memory is that Prometheus was the name of the ship that these characters are on, Michael Fassbender plays a robot, Noomi Rapace gives birth to an alien octopus creature after having unprotected relations with someone whom she should not have, Charlize Theron is quite attractive, and the crew members are trying to find out about the origins of the human race, or I'm assuming there will be even more peril than the movie already had.  If you want a better plot synopsis, or an actual plot synopsis, then type Wikipedia into your computer right now, because I kid you not I was both visually dazzled and mentally confused.

I've heard that some people did not want to see this movie because it was going to be scary.  These people are confusing science fiction with horror. Horror is the scary genre.  Science fiction is the genre with aliens popping out of stomachs, Sigourney Weaver being ballsy, and William Shatner in skin tight attire.

Actually, there is a gross, disturbing scene that I found memorable.  Noomi Rapace's character, Elizabeth Shaw (the impregnated one) must give herself a Caesarean section (C-section, medically speaking).  Actually, a machine does it for her.  There's lasers, blood, and everything (all in a very confined pod-like structure).  I think the idea is that if you have an alien creature in your womb, you will most likely die unless it is removed.

From a visual standpoint the movie is impressive.  There are plently of lovely outside shots, or space shots if you prefer that.  Since this is 2012, and Wikipedia told me, there are thousands of shots that include digital effects.  But, they didn't look fake and stupid, like say Transformers, Michael Bay...

That's really all I've got.  Likable cast, great visuals, intense music, aliens, and plenty of action.

Also, there will at least be one sequel...because Ridley Scott needs money and Noomi Rapace is almost as tough as Sigourney...and she will not be killed easily.

2 out of 4 stars...that's what I always give movies I don't completely understand.

-Joseph Sbrilli