"Bad Teacher" stars Cameron Diaz, Justin Timberlake, and Jason Segel. It was directed Jake Kasdan...still not quite sure who he is. This "charming" "film" was written by the horrible people who wrote "Year One." More on that later.
Somehow Elizabeth Halsey (Diaz) got a job at a middle school. Apparently the fact that she does drugs in the school parking lot, drinks massive amounts of alcohol, swears profusely, and shows movies about teaching, in lieu of doing it herself, meant nothing. I suppose most of this could have been caused by her rich fiance dumping her. Anyways she's back to being a teacher and desperately wants Justin Timberlake. Apparently in order for that to happen she needs to get breast implants. Yep, that's essentially the plot for the movie...ridiculous?...I think this qualifies.
The cast is very talented. Too bad they didn't all receive a better movie script and too bad the people who wrote this movie and "Year One" (especially "Year One" actually) haven't found different jobs...because screenwriting is not their thing. Cameron Diaz being profane, mildly racist and literally caring about nothing and occasionally stealing money from the 7th grade car wash to use towards her new bosom was funny to me...I must admit...and we learn from this movie that Daisy Duke shorts are some of the most powerful articles of clothing this world has ever seen. I got to say I am not a fan of Justin Timberlake, but he was amusing and awkward in "Bad Teacher." There's a fully clothed sex scene between him and Cameron Diaz that I suppose would prove this point. Oh boy. On the other hand I do kind of like Jason Segel. He got one of my favorite lines in the movie, suggesting that Elizabeth would be better at literally any other job besides teaching...too bad it was already used in the trailer. However, honestly one of the funniest aspects of "Bad Teacher" was Phyllis Smith, from "The Office." She was the perfect counterpart to Cameron Diaz and I had forgotten how funny she is with her deadpan line delivery. And who knew Phyllis could pick up a cowboy at a Honkytonk bar, since there's obviously a scene in one, because Justin Timberlake's teacher band has got to play somewhere.
"Bad Teacher" is by no means a good film. It's inappropriate, lowbrow, wastes some legitimately talented actors. The ending makes little sense. Somehow by the end of the movie she no longer is a bad teacher. The thing is that this happens extremely randomly and if it was explained they did an awful job at it. They probably really just wanted to use Jason Segel's "hold my ballsack" (naturally talking about a sack of basketballs or something...it really is anybodies guess...I'm no sports fan) line as a segue for a blossoming relationship between him and Cameron Diaz. However, compared to "Year One" it is a friggin masterpiece. Two years later and I still almost vomit when I think of that travesty of a movie. It just infuriates me.
I need to be honest will everyone. I did laugh multiple times during this movie. The plot for this movie was really mediocre, at best to begin with, so it could have been a whole lot worse. However, I did see "Bridesmaids" recently and "Bad Teacher" pales horribly in comparison. I laughed almost two hours straight during "Bridesmaids" because of the hilarious cast and great script that just meshed together perfectly, leading to several funny scenes. The same cannot be said for "Bad Teacher." I also saw "Horrible Bosses," which also was a more quality comedy. Maybe we just need more movies with Jennifer Aniston sexually harassing people and cameos from Bob Newhart?
2 out of 4 stars...Yeah this definitely is being generous, in a similar way that giving "Burlesque" 2 stars was generous. However, I just despise "Year One" so very much and actually found "Bad Teacher" enjoyable in a strange way. It's all very confusing to explain.
-Joseph Sbrilli
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