The Tree of Life

"The Tree of Life" was written and directed by Terence Malick.  It stars Brad Pitt, Jessica Chastain, and Sean Penn.

The film takes place in Texas in the 1950s.  The O'Brien's are your average American family.  Near the beginning of the film the 19 year son died, so naturally they have to cope with some grief.  Another major component of the film is Mr. O'Brien's (Brad Pitt) relationship with his son Jack.  Mr.  O'Brien is sometimes abusive and strict, but he really loves his family, he just has a odd way of showing it.  There are some flash forward scenes with adult Jack, played by Sean Penn.  He is still trying to understand his life and how his circumstances affected that.  Near the middle of the movie there is a weird origins of the Earth scene, that I found confusing and will go into that further, later.

Terrence Malick has only made 5 films over the past 38 years, and I have only seen one of them, so I guess I do not completely understand his filmmaking style yet.  He is known for his unique style and a strong use of outdoor cinematography.  Both are on display in "The Tree of Life."  This included a great deal of flashbacks and some great outdoor shots, filmed on location in Texas.  There was a great use of shadows and reflections and the dull colors, clothes, house interiors etc, successfully portrayed this part of the country in the 1950s.

Brad Pitt, is one of my favorite actors and I really enjoyed him in this, as I do in most things.  He played just a normal father who loves his family and wants his sons to grow up to be strong and what have you.  However, at times during the movie this because abusive, including him freaking out on one of his sons during dinner, and occasionally being verbally abusive to his wife.  I had not seen Jessica Chastain in anything besides this movie, but she is a good actress, and was the perfect counterpart to Brad Pitt's character.  She was much more innocent and nurturing toward her three sons.  I also like Sean Penn as an actor, but felt he was not used enough in "The Tree of Life."  He only had a few scenes and it was sometimes hard for me to connect what was happening with Sean Penn to the flashbacks.  Either that, or I just can't handle watching anything more complicated than "Grease."

Near the middle of the movie, there was a scene that was way too long, that dealt with the Creation and origins of the world.  I guess this was to show how various components of life are all interelated are something.  I really am not completely sure.  The scene dragged on, I was getting bored, and just wanted to see Brad Pitt's clean shaven, heavily made up face again.  Then dinosaurs came on the scene, and I started thinking about "Jurassic Park," which had better special effects by the way, as far as dinosaurs are concerned.  Is this what Terence Malick was hoping for?  I tend to doubt it.

Two more things.  This movie was too long, as I mentioned before and had it been more concise it would have been more engaging.  Also, some of the scenes were too short, that they seemed to jump from scene to scene too quickly.  This, at least to me, was hard to follow.  Had some scenes been longer, perhaps there would have been more cohesion.

Obviously, I did not understand the majority of the movie.  Apparently, I cannot follow movies now, so I will have to watch this again sometime and see just how much I completely did not realize actually happened.  I liked the acting in "The Tree of Life" and the visuals were for the most part stunning.  So, at the very least you get those two components.  I guess Terrence Malick is just too philosophical for me.

2 out 4 stars...only because I need Terrence Malick to stop being a recluse and to do an interview with David Letterman and Jay Leno so he can explain this movie to people like me.  But, honestly I appreciate how movies like this are at least being made.  They are unique, require you too think and don't have Michael Bay's or Owen Wilson's names anywhere near it.

-Joseph Sbrilli

Captain America: The First Avenger

Coolest Poster Award

To say I like superhero movies is like saying that republicans only kind of enjoy guns. They love guns and I love superhero movies. Luckily, my teenage years have been filled with great superhero movies. Sure there have been some stupid ones (Superman Returns,   Ghost Rider etc.) but overall it has been fantastic. I would like to personally thank Christopher Nolan for that. It is quite possible to claim that no other person was more excited for a Captain America movie than me (probably a lie). The first rumors of it sounded awesome and the casting of Chris Evans, a favorite actor of mine, in the lead role had me slobbering over any news and pictures of the film. My fanboy love blinded me during the so-so trailer and the lack of coherent scenes. To say this is the biggest disappointment of the year for me is an understatement.

Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) is a 90 pound weakling who really wants to serve his country. Especially since it's World War 2 and everyone knows that is the best war to fight in, because winning is awesome. Unfortunately little ol' Steve has asthma and a whole host of other problems. Like the fact that he always gets beat up. Everyone seems to chalk this up to bullying the little guy (Nazis are bullies, get it?) but I think it's because Steve is incredibly boring. Throw some inflection into your voice man. Even the nicest grandma can't wait to leave the room of a boring man. You just want to hit them for being so dull. Anyways, a nice German scientist (Stanley Tucci) decides to sweet talk Rogers into a super soldier program run by Colonel Chester Philips (Tommy Lee Jones). Rogers gets transformed into a hulking man, complete with sex appeal and very Aryan looking features, and promptly watches a German spy shoot Mr. Tucci and destroy the remaining super soldier serum. And since only Stanley knew the formula it goes without saying that America will never figure it out again and so we only have one superhero for a while.

Meanwhile in the motherland, Red Skull (Hugo Weaving) uses terrible German accents to acquire some jewel of Odin (thus tying in Thor) to power his super Nazi death machines. Captain America, after getting hit on by women and helping sell war bonds, takes the fight to the Nazi's in a montage of explosions and the red, white and blue in slow motion. There's so much patriotism I might be sick. Of course the Captain has to save the world at some point and that's really all you need to know.

I wanted this movie to be good. I really did. I even went to the midnight premiere. Boy, was that a waste of money. Let's address the bad guys. I need them to strike fear in my heart. And who does that best? The Nazis! They hate everybody! They are such an easy bad guy to work with! But nope, even with Hugo Weaving (The Matrix, Lord of the Rings) as a bad guy, I felt no fear. Probably because of the terrible accents. Or the stupid piece of CGI red tape to cover his "mutilated" face. Christoph Waltz was scarier in The Green Hornet. And Seth Rogen was in that movie. SETH ROGEN. They should have rehired Kevin Bacon from X-Men: First Class.

Besides the entire hour spent on Captain America's back story, the rest of the film has a lot of action, not any action that makes any sense but it's still action. The only effect that impressed me was whoever gave Chris Evans that tiny body. I heard they photo-shopped every scene he was in. Well done, he looked like a really tiny person and his transformation was great. But when he finally is big I get to watch two hours of him hitting guys with a shield. All right I get it, that's his special shield because he likes being defensive. But Goddamn use your gun! I saw you shoot it several times, but no one died. Hitting people with shields would certainly knock some teeth out, but does it kill them? No. Use a gun. When he finally did kill someone, by throwing them into a plane propeller, I reached the pinnacle of excitement but then the movie kept going.

Which brings us to Chris Evans, the first avenger. Evans is no stranger to superheroes: Fantastic Four, Fantastic Four 2: the suckening, and Push. I loved him in each one, why? Because he's a wisecracking superhero. He is funny! He likes jokes! He is Ryan Reynolds, only manlier! That's his appeal. Captain America made several jokes, but they were so dry it almost wasn't worth it. Let Evans loose, it's what he does best.

The best part of the movie goes to Tommy Lee Jones. I laughed out loud several times. When Evans kisses his British counterpart (obviously had to be a woman) he looks over at Jones who says, "I ain't kissing you." Simple, delivered well, and hysterical. There were multiple lines of his interspersed into the film that broke the monotony and unfunnyness, "I want you to take what's on your mind and feel free to never share it with me." Howard Stark's character (Tony Stark's dad, tying in Iron Man) was also fairly humorous.

In the end, it hurts me to review Captain America so badly. I wanted it to be as good as or better than Iron Man. I wanted to laugh and enjoy some good old Nazi bashing. But instead I spent $11.75 on a big wheel of cheese that didn't enter or exit very well. Hopefully Joss Whedon can change all that when The Avengers releases next year, if anyone can do it, he can. Save your money and watch X-Men again. The only good superhero movie this year (I disliked Thor very much).

1 out of 4 stars

-Christopher O'Connell

P.S. Fondue is a good euphemism for sex.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

Staring contest. Go.

It's not often you get to see the end of the biggest franchise in cinema history. Who would have guessed that there would be 8 movies in a single series that millions would flock to every year? Even Star Wars didn't get this many films in a row. But like every good thing, even Potter has to come to an end. Childhoods across America ended on July 15th, but they ended with the best entry in the series and the fulfilled dreams of everyone who read the books.

Spoiler alert: This review is intended for those who have read the books. If you have not, the movie might be ruined for you. But you should have read the books first so that's your fault.

At the end of HPatDHP1, Harry (Daniel Radcliffe) had just buried Dobby and was looking wistfully over the ocean wondering how he was going to kill Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes). Meanwhile Voldemort was exhuming Dumbledore's body to claim the wizarding version of the Holy Grail: the Elder Wand. A wand so powerful that...that people use it. You never actually see its power, even in the books it seems woefully underutilized. Anyways Harry, Ron and Hermione (Rupert Grint and Emma Watson) have just 3 horcruxes left to destroy (I am excluding Harry). They head out to do all the exciting things in the better part of the book: break into Gringotts, ride a dragon, have an awesome wizard battle in Hogwarts and not go camping for 500 pages.

HPatDHP2 is almost entirely payoff. The first half is all build up, but as we all know not much happens. Except Hermione gets naked in Ron's horcrux dream, which goes down as my weirdest interpretation of the book in the movies. In the second film the audience gets sent off on a magical (sorry) thrill ride from start to finish.

And oh boy is the end battle fantastic. Wizards be shooting spells like they have machine guns. Hogwarts gets blown to bits and by the time everything is done, one or two main characters end up dying. It was sad in the book but it really is even sadder in the movie watching Ron cry over the body of Fred. Everything that was worth it on the pages comes alive in the movie.

But what brings a movie alive the most? The actors. There are only four characters in this film: Harry, Voldemort, Neville Longbottom (Matthew Lewis), and Severus Snape (Alan Rickman). Daniel does his best as Harry but I still don't appreciate him as much as others do. Ralph Fiennes is still a brilliant choice for Voldemort. The only other man I could see doing it would be Bill Nighy. Matthew Lewis is great as Neville and it has been fun watching him grow. Everyone knows that the final book gives the readers what they finally wanted to know, what is Snape's true allegiance? Alan Rickman has been the best actor by far in the entire series. Brilliant casting choice. The montage detailing his love of Harry's mother was done tastefully and much less creepily than in the book. Watching Snape cry over the dead body of Harry's mom had me welling up. Rickman brought Severus to life, making his death that much more tragic and horrifying.

Part 2 is not a film for kiddos. It is violent, deals with darker themes and there's a scene of Severus Snap getting brutally mauled by a snake. I may get nightmares. But this movie is the satisfying conclusion to the series. With almost everything done right (except maybe the epilogue), fans can rest easy knowing that they have 8 watchable films in a row that never lose the magic. I know that I will be seeing it again and so will my future kids. After they read the books of course.

3 and a 1/2 out of 4 stars

-Christopher O'Connell

P.S. Neville should have been revealed as the real chosen one in the end. That would have made the whole series even better.

Bad Teacher

First and foremost, nobody judge me for seeing "Bad Teacher."  I had a free movie ticket and it looked like a ridiculous movie.  If you don't believe me, then take this opportunity to re-watch the trailer or look at the poster or something.

"Bad Teacher" stars Cameron Diaz, Justin Timberlake, and Jason Segel.  It was directed Jake Kasdan...still not quite sure who he is.  This "charming" "film" was written by the horrible people who wrote "Year One."  More on that later.

Somehow Elizabeth Halsey (Diaz) got a job at a middle school.  Apparently the fact that she does drugs in the school parking lot, drinks massive amounts of alcohol, swears profusely, and shows movies about teaching, in lieu of doing it herself, meant nothing.  I suppose most of this could have been caused by her rich fiance dumping her.  Anyways she's back to being a teacher and desperately wants Justin Timberlake.  Apparently in order for that to happen she needs to get breast implants.  Yep, that's essentially the plot for the movie...ridiculous?...I think this qualifies.

The cast is very talented.  Too bad they didn't all receive a better movie script and too bad the people who wrote this movie and "Year One" (especially "Year One" actually) haven't found different jobs...because screenwriting is not their thing.  Cameron Diaz being profane, mildly racist and literally caring about nothing and occasionally stealing money from the 7th grade car wash to use towards her new bosom was funny to me...I must admit...and we learn from this movie that Daisy Duke shorts are some of the most powerful articles of clothing this world has ever seen.  I got to say I am not a fan of Justin Timberlake, but he was amusing and awkward in "Bad Teacher."  There's a fully clothed sex scene between him and Cameron Diaz that I suppose would prove this point.  Oh boy.  On the other hand I do kind of like Jason Segel.  He got one of my favorite lines in the movie, suggesting that Elizabeth would be better at literally any other job besides teaching...too bad it was already used in the trailer.  However, honestly one of the funniest aspects of "Bad Teacher" was Phyllis Smith, from "The Office."  She was the perfect counterpart to Cameron Diaz and I had forgotten how funny she is with her deadpan line delivery.  And who knew Phyllis could pick up a cowboy at a Honkytonk bar, since there's obviously a scene in one, because Justin Timberlake's teacher band has got to play somewhere.   

"Bad Teacher" is by no means a good film.  It's inappropriate, lowbrow, wastes some legitimately talented actors.  The ending makes little sense.  Somehow by the end of the movie she no longer is a bad teacher.  The thing is that this happens extremely randomly and if it was explained they did an awful job at it.  They probably really just wanted to use Jason Segel's "hold my ballsack" (naturally talking about a sack of basketballs or something...it really is anybodies guess...I'm no sports fan) line as a segue for a blossoming relationship between him and Cameron Diaz.  However, compared to "Year One" it is a friggin masterpiece.  Two years later and I still almost vomit when I think of that travesty of a movie.  It just infuriates me.

I need to be honest will everyone.  I did laugh multiple times during this movie.  The plot for this movie was really mediocre, at best to begin with, so it could have been a whole lot worse.  However, I did see "Bridesmaids" recently and "Bad Teacher" pales horribly in comparison.  I laughed almost two hours straight during "Bridesmaids" because of the hilarious cast and great script that just meshed together perfectly, leading to several funny scenes.  The same cannot be said for "Bad Teacher."  I also saw "Horrible Bosses," which also was a more quality comedy.  Maybe we just need more movies with Jennifer Aniston sexually harassing people and cameos from Bob Newhart? 

2 out of 4 stars...Yeah this definitely is being generous, in a similar way that giving "Burlesque" 2 stars was generous.  However, I just despise "Year One" so very much and actually found "Bad Teacher" enjoyable in a strange way.  It's all very confusing to explain.  

-Joseph Sbrilli 

Horrible Bosses

Spoiler: One of these bosses gets wayy
more screen time than the others

When I look around at my fellow humans, gazing stoically at their ability to reason brilliantly and then kill each other, I notice that we all have something in common. A binding agent, if you will, that connects us all. Is it our love of Tom Hanks? Most of the time yes, but every man or woman over the age of 15 can relate to you a story about the very worst boss they have ever had. It's just a part of being human.

Horrible Bosses is based entirely around three men with the absolute worst bosses in the world, if the title didn't already give that fact away.

Nick Hendricks (Jason Bateman) is an up and coming business man. He works hard, is good at what he does and is determined to succeed. Unfortunately his boss Dave Harkin (Kevin Spacey) is basically the devil. He berates Nick for being two minutes late and laughs in his face when he finds out that Nick calls his grandmother gam gam. And Nick missed gam gam's funeral because of work. After being passed up for a big promotion that Dave promoted himself into, Nick is ready to kill his boss.

Kurt Buckman (Jason Sudeikis) is the head manager at Pellit and Son chemical company. Mr. Pellit is awesome but his son (Colin Farrell) is a raging cokehead. When Mr. Pellitt dies, his son takes over. His first request of Kurt is to trim the fat in the office. Kurt is to do this by firing the fat people. Bobby Pellit also wants to dispose the company's chemical waste in Bolivia for cheap. Kurt is ready to kill his boss.

Dale Arbus (Charlie Day) is a dental hygienist. You know, that job usually reserved for attractive woman. Dale is in a committed relationship with his fiancee. He is also a convicted sex offender, "Why would they put a playground next to a bar? I had to pee!" Dale's boss Dr. Julia Harris (Jennifer Aniston) is a raging nymphomaniac who wants nothing more than to jump Dale's bones. And by bones I mean boner, she gets pretty graphic. When Dale finds out that Julia is planning on showing his fiancee naughty pictures that she took of the two of them while he was drugged up, "Rape! That's a rape! You raped me! Rape!" "Please it wasn't even hard." "That gives me no comfort." Dale is ready to kill his boss.

Besides having the whitest names in the history of mankind, Dale, Kurt and Nick have no experience killing people. They look around for help and find it in the form of one Mother@#$%er Jones (Jamie Foxx). "Your first name is Mother@#%^er?" With his help, the boys decide to kill each others bosses and finally be happy.

I was incredibly pleased with Horrible Bosses. It was moderately funny at first and got progressively funnier as it went along until I was hoarse with laughter by the end. Whether it was some silly one-line, "I am going to inquire about that waitress's vagina." or Nick and Kurt discussing their rape-ability in jail. Dale finally settles who would be more likely to be raped.

This is a wonderful cast, Colin Farrell is the only one who gets skipped out on screen time. Kevin Spacey takes the biggest role in his terrifying manner that he approaches things. The boys are all hilarious and share the screen like good buddies should. There is nothing new here, I wouldn't call it a groundbreaking comedy, but it may be the funniest thing you see this summer. It certainly is giving Bridesmaids a run for its comedic money and most certainly blows The Hangover 2 right out of the water. If you want to laugh you won't be disappointed.

3 out of 4 stars

-Christopher O'Connell

P.S. I'd bend her over and show her the 50 states

Midnight in Paris

"Midnight in Paris" is a romantic comedy written and directed by Woody Allen.  It stars Owen Wilson, Rachel McAdams, Kathy Bates, Marion Cotillard, Michael Sheen, Adrien Brody, and others.

Gil, a movie screenwriter (Owen Wilson) and his fiance, Inez (Rachel McAdams) are vacationing in Paris, with her parents.  Gil becomes a little bit more than smitten with the lovely city and decides he wants to live there, since he's writing a novel and is so incredibly inspired by people with fancy accents.  Inez won't have any of this nonsense because she wants to live in California and thinks Gil is becoming too consumed by his writing.  He probably is, since we learn from this film that once the clock strikes midnight, Paris becomes a portal for time travel...I'm willing to believe it.  Gil goes on nightly walks around the city, and is mysteriously transported to the 1920s, a decade he deems much better than his own.  He comes into contact with such wonderful literary and artistic figures as Gertrude Stein (Kathy Bates), Salvador Dali (Adrien Brody), Ernest Hemingway, Pablo Picasso, and many more inspirational cultural figures.  This begins to impact Gil's writing and eventually his relationship with Inez.

The cast in this film was great, minus Owen Wilson.  Between his annoying voice, that sounds the same in everything, to his strange nose, and stupid hair, I just do not like him as an actor and wished that Woody Allen picked someone else.  Rachel McAdams on the other hand was charming as always.  I love Kathy Bates so I greatly enjoyed her handful of scenes.  I actually had no idea who Gertrude Stein was until this came out, so I can't judge how well Bates depicted her.  Adrien Brody, as the surrealist Salvador Dali was another highlight of the movie, and his single scene was funny and enjoyable.  Finally, Kurt Fuller as Inez's father had some of the funniest lines in "Midnight in Paris" and I wished he had been in more scenes, but I suppose that would have completely taken away from the plot. 

Woody Allen films always have great cinematography and music and his latest outing is no exception.  The first couple of minutes of the film had absolutely no talking.  It was just various shots of Paris, at different times of day.  Yes, Paris is indeed beautiful, I can attest to that first hand.  These scenes are incredibly well shot and showcase Paris at its best.  There also is the nice contrast between modern day Paris and Paris in the 1920s.  In both occasions there was great lighting and compositions in the scenes.  The music also added to the film, and it's romantic 1920s atmosphere, this included music from the likes of Cole Porter, and others.  

I enjoyed how this was not a mainstream Hollywood affair.  This is why it was limited released and will most likely not make a whole lot of money.  Right down to the opening credits, where it's simply white text on a black background, with the cast in alphabetical order, it felt just like the start of most other Woody Allen movies that I have seen.  True, I've only seen 9 of his 41 films, but that is really besides the point.  A movie like this with great cinematography, great music, talented cast, interesting story is a breath of fresh air in a world where "Transformers," "The Hangover: Part II," "The Smurfs," "Spy Kids" in 4D, "Zookeeper," "Mr. Poppers Penguins" (I think my point has been made) pass for entertainment.  True, "Midnight in Paris," is not laugh out loud, hilariously funny, in the way that "Bridesmaids was.  That's just a little too in your face for Woody Allen movies, which I have enjoyed because they are usually clever and funny, and show such talent both in front of and behind the camera. 

Anyways  I really enjoyed this movie (except of course the lead actor).  The fantasy aspect of the story made it interesting and it was a pleasure to look at.  I also found out that I definitely did not enjoy the movie as much as a would have if I had been more cultural.  So if you are a person interested in culture and the humanities, then you will most likely love this movie.  If you are not part of that elite group, but like Woody Allen or any member of the cast, then give it a try.  It's a much better use of you money, than paying to see Jim Carrey and his shenanigans with poorly animated penguins dancing, for example.

3 out of 4 stars 

-Joseph Sbrilli  

Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon

Michael Bay's first threequel. It should have been Bad Boys.

JoeandChrisO has come full circle. We started this blog because Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen was so unbearably bad, we really needed to make fun of it in a public forum. Now, two years later, we get to end with the (hopefully) final film in the disguised robot franchise. It has been a good and incredibly fun run. Thank you all for reading along.

Haha, just kidding. We love movies way too much. And to end on a crapfest like Dark of the Moon would be more depressing than a box full of whimpering puppies.

I got to hand it to Michael Bay. It takes moxie and a little bit of courage to make another film after Revenge of the Fallen. Or it took a very large paycheck, yeah I'm gonna go with the paycheck thing.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon does one thing a little bit better than it's predecessor. They at least try to set up a story. A reimagined history goes like this: we detected a spaceship crash landing on the moon. The US and the Soviets raced to the moon to get to it first. We all know who won that (America). Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin found a crashed Autobot spaceship. Fast-forward to the present. Sam Witwicky (Shia Labeouf) is hanging out with his latest smoking hot girlfriend Carly (Rosie Huntington-Whitely). Where is Megan Fox? Well, you get written out of the story and called a bitch by smack talking robots several times when you call a part-Jewish director Hitler. Sam's life sucks (except for the Victoria's Secret girlfriend thing) and the Autobots are off doing special ops work. Somehow they became the military's slaves. Through a series of escalating shenanigans by Decepticons, Sam learns that there have been humans working for the Decepticons this whole time trying to trick the Autobots into a nefarious plan. A plan that involves using their previous leader Sentinel Prime (Leonard Nimoy) to use some electronic pillar thingies to bring Cybertron to Earth.

There are so many extra plot points that they could have made a fourth movie (not a suggestion, please don't do it.) But the big controversy about this one had to be the whole Megan Fox deal. And the acting abilities of a model who has never acted before. Personally I prefer Rosie. Although she is way too beautiful. She might be CGI. Megan Fox looks like she's dirty. And not the good kind of dirty, the "go take a shower" kind of dirty. Rosie can act. Sort of. She isn't surrounded by anyone really great. Shia is obviously phoning it in. So is everyone else really. John Malkovich has about five minutes of screen time. One less than Ken Jeong. They threw so many actors into this film it's crazy. Ken Jeong, John Malkovich, Patrick Dempsey, Frances Mcdormand and Alan Tudyk (my favorite). Michael Bay tries to give every one of these characters a back story and it ends up being a fuddled mess where I don't care about anyone. We don't get to know the new robots and Megatron has less screen time than Dempsey.

It all stems from awful writing. They rehired the same guy, Ehren Kruger, who wrote Revenge of the Fallen. Are you serious? The guy who apparently wrote down robot heaven has a better paying job than me? Ludicrous I say. And Shia's character spends a lot of time screaming like a little girl. You'd think he had seen transforming robots before. Guess not. Can't assume too much when we are working with this crowd.

But what's good about Transformers? The visuals, duh. That's why people go to these movies anyways. Screw a coherent story and believable characters GIVE ME EXPLOSIONS. "Gladly," says Michael Bay. Everything that can explode, does. Including people. And probably small animals. The explosions are lovely, I am glad I didn't pay for 3-D though. I have one small gripe with the visuals though. The Decepticons are so lame. Their character designs are cut and paste. There is no originality, no spice or flair or color that the Autobots get. I can't distinguish Decepticons. The strong ones look no different than the weak ones that die after one shot. And their new flying machines, I saw Battle: Los Angeles a couple of months ago guys, give me something new.

Just when I thought there wouldn't be anything new, Michael Bay surprised me. In a move of surprising genius, Bay hired the wing suit guys. Crazy madmen who attach membranes to themselves that resemble flying squirrels. Michael Bay took these individuals and had them fly through a city. It was awesome. Especially when they jumped out of their burning helicopter. Admittedly, it was the absolute worst way to insert troops into a battle zone (five helicopters go in, all blow up) but boy was it cool. Oscar for best stunt goes to them.

Loud, big and probably a mite egotistical, Transformers 3 learned almost nothing from the previous film. If you introduced something in the last film, you should probably use it in the next film. What happened to the terminator girl robot? Or the giant Decepticon that was controlling the international space station? Did they just die? Stupid decisions at every turn. If Patrick Dempsey is the biggest bad guy, your movie might have a few problems. Restart at the first film which still is a decent movie. No wait, don't. I don't want to see any transformers for a long time.

1 star out of 4. Half a star for the wing suit guys and half a star for Alan Tudyk, because I love him.

-Christopher O'Connell

P.S. Dark of the Moon is the stupidest name ever. Does Pink Floyd have the rights to dark side of the moon or something?

Cape Fear: A Quick Review

"Cape Fear" includes three of my favorite aspects of the film industry: Martin Scorsese, Robert De Niro, and thrillers as a genre.  Naturally, I was bound to like this movie.  It's a remake of a 1962 film of the same name, which was in turn based off a novel.  I don't know anything about those two, but Scorsese's version was extremely well acted, filmed, etc.  It is one of the reasons why the 22 year film partnership between Scorsese and De Niro never should have ended.  They did beautiful work together.  De Niro plays a rapist, Max Cady who has just been released from prison after 14 years.  Sometime in prison he went insane apparently and decides that he wants to stalk and kill his former lawyer, Sam Bowden (Nick Nolte) and his wife (Jessica Lange) and daughter (Juliette Lewis).   It is revealed that Sam did not do all he could have to get his client off.  Robert De Niro is absolutely wonderful in this film.  He is such a talented actor, and should really start steering clear of movies with the word "Focker" in them...he is way too talented for that nonsense.  He entirely becomes a psychotic rapist, complete with tattoos, unruly hair, and a creepy southern accent.  The rest of the cast is great as well, although I'm going to opt not to comment further.  "Cape Fear" also benefitted from an incredible score that added so much suspense and intensity to each scene.  The score was a rearrangement of the original score for the 1962 film by Bernard Herrmann.  I love that man.  He did the brilliant scores to "Psycho" (and other Alfred Hitchcock films), "Taxi Driver", "Citizen Kane", and many, more.  Without his ear for music and how it compliments a scene I doubt these films would be as lasting, and memorable as they certainly have become.  Finally, the film visually is great, with dim lighting, an exciting climax, among many other aspects, all adding to the enjoyment of this film.  Just be warned...a girl does get a piece of her cheek bitten off...just a word to the wise.

3 1/2 stars out of 4

-Joseph Sbrilli

As Good As It Gets: A Quick Review

"As Good as it Gets" was directed by James L. Brooks.  Melvin Udall (Jack Nicholson) is a selfish, obsessive compulsive novelist, who seems incapable of loving anyone.  For those of you who are unaware, this a romantic comedy, so parts of the previous sentence turn out to be false in the end.  Helen Hunt plays Carol Connelly, a single mother and a waitress at the restaurant that Melvin frequents, naturally bringing his own plastic utensils.  Greg Kinear also stars as Simon Bishop, a homosexual artist and Melvin's neighbor.  Melvin looking after Simon's dog is the very beginning of discovering that he (Melvin) does indeed have something resembling a soul.  Well, this goes without saying but Jack Nicholson is a Hollywood legend and a great actor.  So he was a good fit for this kind of role  I also love Helen Hunt, though mainly for her role on "Mad About You," rather than her film roles.  Anyways their age difference is a little gross...depending on how you feel about Mr. Nicholson being 26 years older...I guess like Clint Eastwood and several other leading men over the years, he attracts women half his age.  And at first she cannot stand him, because calling Melvin an unpleasant character is kind of an understatement.  Also, his making fun of Carol's constantly ill son did not help matters.  Somewhere along the way they develop feelings for each other.  We all knew it was coming, so there are no surprises.  Like with other romantic comedies, and most movies in general you need to suspend some disbelief, regarding rapid relationships.  Overall, I enjoyed this movie.  The cast was good, minus Cuba Gooding Jr., who i found out is kind of annoying, in my humble opinion...still cannot believe he has an Oscar on one of his mantles.  There are several funny scenes and lines, and a handful of emotional scenes as well, mainly with Carol dealing with her son constantly being sick.  Also, it's a little on the long side, especially for a comedy.  It breaks my 2 hour comedy rule by about 20 minutes  However, it is way better than "How Do You Know," James L. Brooks and Jack Nicholson's movie from last year.  That was simply not funny, boring, and full of Owen Wilson, which grossed me out.  Anyway, for those who enjoy the cast, or romantic comedies, give it a try...it certainly benefitted from not starring Jennifer Aniston, Drew Barrymore, or Sarah Jessica Parker.

3 out of 4 stars

-Joseph Sbrilli