Battle: Los Angeles

Let's get one thing straight. Battle: Los Angeles is not as bad as everyone says it is. It definitely isn't as bad as Roger Ebert says it is, which according to him it is pretty bad. He must have had a bug in his prune juice that particular morning because he hated on it like Miley Cyrus was guest starring.

Battle: Los Angeles has a very simple premise. Aliens are invading, they don't like humans and if we don't kill them, our entire species will be wiped out. The movie follows Staff Sergeant Mike Nantz (Aaron Eckhart, who I LOVE) and his squad of soldiers as they first try to rescue some civilians and, after their base is destroyed, just try to find a way out; when they find a chance of rescue, they head back in to exploit a potential alien weakness and save the world.

And boy is it exciting. The buildup is sufficiently full of tension, giving character background and foreshadowing of a potential invasion. The explosions are loud, mean and plentiful. Bullets fly everywhere and aliens spend a good portion of the movie finding out what hot lead tastes like. At the end it started to feel a bit long but the action and special effects kept me at the edge of my seat. For a popcorn flick with plenty of bang for your buck this is the way to do it.

But I don't just review action flicks. I review movies, and Battle: Los Angeles has its faults. First off is cliches. Everywhere. Scene where characters talk about how they're gonna make it and need to man up? Check. Smart ass one liners? Check. Scene where a character has to sacrifice himself for the others? Check. Aaron Eckhart letting the war get to him and becoming angry? Check. Rousing speech meant to inspire the men? Check. Pulling out your pistol to shoot some aliens even though your rifle works fine? Check. This list could go on and on.

Obligatory strong female character because women need to be empowered? Sort of check. I imagine the conversation at the studio went like this:

"Johnson! We need a strong female character, preferably ethnic, to balance out all this testosterone or guys will never be able to drag their girlfriends to this movie."

"Well, we already used Bridget Moynahan... how about Michelle Rodriguez?"

"Is that our only option?"

"Yes."

"Damn. Fine, do it."

Michelle Rodriguez was awful. It was like she wandered onto set after a crazy party. Did she learn her lines the day before? Sure sounds like it. Just because you need a strong female character, it doesn't mean you need Rodriguez. Get someone with some acting chops that can actually be as good as Eckhart was.

The special effects were amazing. And then they weren't. At points I was so impressed I almost called my parents to tell them. Then at other points it was like I was watching a high quality YouTube clip. Keep it together filmmakers, you have a big enough budget, use it.

The ending is kind of stupid. After literally running off of 24 hours constant combat; the seven remaining soldiers decide to head back in and retake Los Angeles. Don't be stupid, the entire squad is basically dead and you will be too. Take a nap and then fight. That made me angry, I can forgive other lapses in filmmaker judgement but that was just stupid.

The movie is called Battle: Los Angeles. It obviously wasn't meant to be very intellectually stimulating. Get over yourself Roger Ebert. Battle may have plenty of cliches but it was totally worth the matinée. For pure entertainment schlock, this is a movie that you'll want to check out.

2 stars of out of 4

-Christopher O'Connell