Anyways, I'm torn on Machete. On the one hand I am super happy for Danny Trejo (You know the whole being an ex convict turned successful actor thing, that's pretty sweet). The fact that he looks like hes been hit by several buses and gets to star as the main character in a feature length film is incredible. And he is wonderful in Machete. An ex-federale, who was left for dead by Mexican drug lord Steven Seagal, makes his way to America and gets involved in a US congressman's assassination attempt. The only way he can break out is the only way he knows how, by killing everybody as gruesomely as possible and preferably with a machete. (He likes machetes but his name is also Machete...I see what you did there)
Machete can't decide what it is and that's the sad part about it because it addresses a poignant issue in our society. Namely, the control of the US-Mexico border and the drug war in Mexico. At first it seems as if Machete will try to be a violent satire. To which I say bravo, well done. And then the movie keeps going and devolves into the most racially stereotyped Mexican Die Hard film I have ever seen. It was sad, weird, confusing, gross, funny and unsure of what it's next move might be. It could have been built into a much more poignant social commentary but in the end it's just meant to entertain.
Oh and Jessica Alba (Gorgeous) and Lindsay Lohan are just terrible. I don't care if they're naked, at least Danny Trejo and Michelle Rodriguez tried to act. Those first two just were awful and made me vomit everywhere. And Steven Seagal must love cashing that check after the easiest role he has ever been in. Although getting stuck in direct to dvd movies has to be punishment enough
-Christopher O'Connell
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