Burlesque

"Burlesque" was written and directed by Steven Antin.  Before I heard of this movie, I has no idea who that was, so I'm assuming most people who read this have no idea as well...but I thought I would mention him anyway.  The cast is led by the wonderful, talented entertainment icon, (this is a fact, and not simply my opinion) Cher.  The rest of the cast includes Christina Aguilera (in her movie debut), Stanley Tucci, Kristen Bell, Julianne Hough, Cam Gigandet, among others.

The plot has been done in some way approximately 80,000 times since the invention of the moving picture.  However, I will tell you the plot anyway. Ali Rose (Christina Aguilera) works at a diner in some mid-western town.  She decides this is unbelievably boring and ridiculous and that she is way to talented and beautiful to put up with that crap.  She takes an insanely long bus ride to Los Angeles and finds herself in the Burlesque Lounge, a burlesque theater, owned by Tess (Cher), that is in danger of closely down.  Luckily Ali Rose is there and talent just flows from her pores and people love her voice and dancing skills.  This is quite a cliched movie so of course you got to throw in a love interest (Cam Gigandet), among other unimaginative things.  Stanley Tucci plays the gay stage manager and Tess' best friend, Sean.  The other three girls are also dancers.  One's a drunk, one's pregnant, it's a fun little dysfunctional surrogate family.

Let's start with the negative aspects of this film.  Yes, you may be thinking this is going to be the worst movie of all time...but that distinction goes to "Year One," so you're automatically wrong about "Burlesque". If you hate musicals, anyone in the cast, or fun things in general, then by all means stop reading this and do something else.  The script and dialogue is absolutely horrendous.  I mean just because you are a flamboyant gay man does not mean you automatically can write a good musical...that is a stereotype.  I could make a list of the horrible lines in the movie, but it would really take too much time.  Sometimes you cringe hearing the lines and other times you just make a confused face because you wonder if you heard wrong.  No, you are not mistaken the script for "Burlesque is campy at best and horrifying at worst. And like I said before, this plot is overdone, and originality is not a popular or welcome idea here.  I needed to get that rant out of the way, so that there are no misunderstandings or misinterpretations.  Below is a brief example of some dialogue, if you don't believe me, and this is just from the trailer. 

Sean:So, is Ali short for anything? 
Ali Rose: Oh, yeah, it's short for Alice. 
Sean: Alice, hm? Well, welcome to Wonderland.

This probably goes without saying, but there's a lot of skin in this movie.  Take a look at the poster/title one more time.  However, it is not graphic and is well within the confines of the wonderful PG-13 rating.  I however would not let a 13 year old watch this...that just seems like a poor decision.

I actually really enjoyed "Burlesque."  Naturally, I had to overlook the terrible dialogue.  Occasionally there was a funny line, but unfortunately it was all to infrequent.  Every single ounce of energy and thought went into designing the elaborate sets, costumes, and most importantly the impressive, elaborate dance numbers.  The dance numbers are phenomenal and the only reason this movie exists.  The weak plot merely ties all of the dances together.  I bet the choreographer had a friggin field day with this.  Also, there is so much glitter and other sparkling things on costumes and everywhere that it would literally give Bob Mackie, Cher's flamboyantly gay costume designer, a heart attack.

The cinematography is also quite good.  The lighting, set designs, and camera work are all well done.  All of these things add to the energetic mood of the movie.  There's lots of quick editing and everything.  It looks just like what you would expect from a live show.  Or so I assume because I haven't actually experienced a burlesque show, because I have a moral conscience.  

The cast is also good.  It's Cher's first lead role in 11 years and she is great.  Unfortunately she only gets two songs, "Welcome to Burlesque" and "You Haven't Seen the Last of Me."  I would have preferred she have a couple more since she is Cher and all.  However those are among the best songs in the movie (the movie has a very strong soundtrack overall).  And "You Haven't Seen the Last of Me" is wonderful and written by the nice lady who wrote, "If I Could Turn Back Time."  Cher's power ballad in "Burlesque" is full of emotion (as it turns out Cher is a very talented crier), like a good power ballad should be.  She has great chemestry with the cast, mainly Stanley Tucci.  They play off each other well throughout the movie.  Everyone tries so hard to be a good actor in here, they have so little to work with, though.  Although I enjoyed Cher's performance in "Burlesque," it is absolutely nothing compared to her Oscar winning role in "Moonstruck" from 1987.  That movie is phenomenal and I highly recommend it.  I just needed to get some of my love for Cher out of my system.  Christina Aguilera actually was not a bad actress at all.  Of course her role required little actually acting, since she sings for a living and I assume has danced in music videos.  She came across as pretty natural though and I did not cringe or get mad at her once.  She dominates the soundtrack with some covers and some new songs for "Burlesque."  I had never heard her sing before the movie and I was quite impressed.  She's incredibly talented and has a powerful voice.  I really don't feel like talking about the rest of the cast.  They were good though, but it was really Christina Aguilera's show, so the other girls kind of get lost in the background eventually.  One more comment...Christina Aguilera singing part of "Diamond's Are a Girl's Best Friend"...incredible.

"Burlesque" is kind of similar to "Chicago" in some ways, except it is so incredibly inferior and weak when you compare the two that it is insane.  "Chicago" is a beautiful film and well-made in every single regard.  I also highly recommend that one as well.

So, hopefully no one has judged me for seeing "Burlesque."  I happen to love Cher (with every fiber of my being) and musicals, so it seemed like the natural choice to go see it.  The movie is not of high quality, obviously.  But it was not painful at all to watch.  The musical numbers were phenomenal thanks to Cher (an incredible entertainer for the past 45 years in this wonderful country of ours) and Christina Aguilera and the entire movie is just a fun two hours of life, if you happen to be into musicals and everything.  Just don't think too much about the dialogue.  2 out of 4 stars...

-Joseph Sbrilli


P.S. Cher sings "You Haven't Seen the Last of Me," live...she is that talented and I was impressed.