Quick Update

The better half of joeandchriso (joe) was in a serious car accident. They had to remove his kidney and spleen, but he also sustained a couple of cracked ribs and a punctured lung. Not to mention the trauma that comes along with a crash like that. Please everyone pray for a full recovery to one of the greatest buds any of you will ever have.

Thanks,
Chris

Confessions of a Shopaholic

Chick flicks have to be, by far, the worst movie genre ever invented. (This does not include "Mean Girls,"which is the best chick flick ever created.) "Confessions of a Shopaholic" only proves that the funniest part in a chick flick is the gay friend, and his part isn't nearly long enough to save "Confessions" from being one of the worst movies I've seen this year. Seriously, I'd rather watch "Transformers 2" again.

Here's how the ridiculously predictable plot unfolds. Girl has problem, thinks solution to problem is "X." Meets devishly handsome guy, although different at first, find stuff in common, fall in love. Girl's problem is exposed, guy feels betrayed, leaves, girl goes to sulk, discovers the solution is really "Y" instead of "X." Guy sees how much girl has changed, initiates new relationship. They live happily ever after. The End.

Well, that wasn't every romantic comedy/chickflick plot ever made. I am so glad I just watched such an interesting movie with no cliches whatsoever.

Rebecca Bloomwood (Isla Fisher) is a redhead recently-graduated-from-college bimbo, working at some crappy magazine reviewing like yardwork stores and stuff. I wasn't paying very much attention. Rebecca likes to shop, a lot. Although half the time she looks like big bird ran through the painting section of Lowes. I almost got my shades - the colors were way too bright for my eyes. Anyhoo, Rebecca really, really wants a job at Allete magazine (think Vogue). On her way there she decides she really needs a green scarf to go with her outfit (crazy right? but it's exactly the thing that could make this interview go well, omg!). But all her credit cards are declined so she starts asking people for money to buy her ailing grandmother a new scarf. Some nice guy gives it to her and she runs off to get a new job. Here's where the gay guy comes in, and the only part where I laughed comes in. The gay security guard informs Rebecca that Allete already gave away the job she wanted but if she applied at another magazine in the building she could work her way up, because thats how the building works obviously. She tries for it and finds that the guy who gave her money is the employer who would hire her for some stupid financial magazine.

Here's where the plot gets so stupid that it makes me angry. Obviously she doesn't get a job so she goes home and gets drunk with her best friend (the stupidest loudest person in the movie) and decides to write letters to both Allete and the magazine the handsome guy turned her away from. The Allete letter is a good letter about clothing and stuff...whatever. The other letter is a hate letter because the guy turned away her fake resume blah blah you don't know who I am blah blah girl power. But because she's drunk she mixes up the letters and sends the wrong one to each. The stupid handsome guy gets her letter and thinks it has to do with finance and gives her a job.

Gah! I just wanted to throw my TV out of the room. If she was drunk how in the world was she able to write a legible letter? She and her roommate had like 18 tequila shots in an hour. And what magazine in their right mind would hire someone to explain financial terms with fashion? "Buying a time share is like buying a tiny bikini, if its warm out, it's great and everyone thinks your hot, but if it's cold out, it's not so comfortable anymore and you'll have to put on something different." Wow, thanks! Now I understand time shares. Girl fashion can really help us get through this recession, everybody.

NO IT EFFING CAN'T! This movie is awful, really it is. Please don't watch it. Give the gay guy ten more lines of dialogue and I would tell you to watch it, but he has like 3 lines. This movie is terrible in every way conceivable. Don't let its bright colors attract you.

Grade: D-, I didn't give it an F because John Goodman is in it and the gay guy made me laugh.

-Christopher O'Connell

Mamma Mia!

Since I have no more money I can't really afford to see new movies in theaters for a while (unless someone happens to pay for me) so I'm reviewing a movie from last summer, "Mamma Mia!"...starring Meryl Streep and Pierce Brosnan and based on the unbelievable hit play with songs from ABBA...I have never seen the play on Broadway...so I have nothing to compare it to. But I assume the play was a lot better than the movie adaptation.

Meryl Streep plays Donna Sheridan. She lives in Greece and runs a hotel there. Her daughter, Sophie (Amanda Seyfried) is getting married. But the big mystery is who is her father (she wants him to attend the wedding)...She has narrowed it down to three possible guys from her mother's past...Sam Carmichael (Pierce Brosnan), Harry Bright (Collin Firth), and Bill Anderson (Stellan Skarsgard). There's the plot...held together with ABBA songs.

Meryl Streep is the sole reason why any human being would even consider seeing this movie. She is the best actress currently living/making movies and she she can essentially play any character that is given to her. Throughout the entire movie she is both of funny and energetic and just a joy to watch (My review for "The Proposal" was very pro-Betty White...this one is very pro-Meryl Streep) Also she is pretty convincing playing a character 15 years younger that her actual age, 59. And on top of that she has a great singing voice which can be seen in several places like when she sings "Mamma Mia!" and "The Winner Takes it All"...my favorite part of the whole movie. Luckily her voice drowns out Pierce Brosnan's in their songs together...I'll get more into his involvement in the movie later on...) So if you don't love her...then feel free to avoid the movie at all costs. And also if you hate musicals and/or ABBA this movie is also one to avoid.

The two actresses who play Donna's friends, Rosie and Tanya (Julie Walters and Christine Baranski) are also enjoyable parts of the movie (as well as the on location shooting in Greece...which looks great...just had to add that in there somewhere). They have great chemistry with Meryl Streep and the 3 do a good job with songs such as "Dancing Queen"

The 3 guys in the movie don't fare as well. None of them can sing. Their songs together are some of the worst on the entire soundtrack. And none of them seen like they have chemistry of any kind with Meryl Streep. However, by far the worst is Pierce Brosnan. Someone said that he could sing. That individual is the biggest liar...ever...that statement is a complete falsehood. He can try to sing but he never succeeds. He has no range and little or no control over what he voice does.

The recordings of the ABBA songs are pretty good. I actually prefer Meryl Streep's rendition to the originals in some cases. However, they don't feel natural at all in the movie. Everytime a character starts to sing it kind of caught me by surprise and did not flow well. This also adds to the overall cheesiness of the movie and some embarrassingly awful scenes...very interesting choreography at times...kind of wonder what people were thinking. "Sweeney Todd", "Chicago", "Hairspray", and "Dreamgirls" are examples of successful musicals in recent years, where the music placement seems natural and fits the scene well. And unfortunately "Mamma Mia!" does not belong on that list...and for good reason.

2 stars...yes, you guessed it...mainly for Meryl Streeps involvement. Overall I was very dissapointed with this movie (and I love most musicals)...if you must, rent it for a dollar at Hannaford or Wal-Mart. One last note...the writer, director, and producer of the movie had no clue at all how to make movies. Catherine Johnson, Phyllida Lloyd, and Judy Craymer all did the play. Writing, directing and producing plays is much different than doing the same for movies, another reason why the movie adaptation did not work well.

-Joseph Sbrilli

Year One

"Year One", written and directed by Harold Ramis (he also did Caddyshack, Ghostbusters, Vacation, Groundhog Day...comedies people actually like watching) is a horrible excuse for a movie. It has a great cast including Jack Black, Michael Cera, Hank Azaria, David Cross, Oliver Platt, and Paul Rudd. And every single one of them was completely wasted in this horrible attempt at a comedy. "Year One" is an insult to your intelligence and is, simply put, complete garbage and a torture I wish on no one.

This is a "road" movie about a hunter and a gatherer, Zed (Jack Black) and Oh (Michael Cera). They are kicked out of their tribe and meet several people from the Bible. And I'm assuming something actually happens, although honestly I'm not sure...someone wrote this script in like 20 minutes, and with no sleep apparently...oh yeah...they do end up in Sodom...and slavery is involved...and the 2 guys try to get 2 girls to like them...

The movie is pretty sacrilegious - making fun of Biblical occurances like Cain murdering Abel, etc. "Year One" is also full of humor that seems to be geared towards kindergarteners perhaps. Yes, Jack Black eats bear feces, Michael Cera urinates on himself, people get circumcised, and we are supposed to somehow laugh at this embarrassing mess.

The good parts of this movie?...um the ending credits when the suffering, sacrilegious, and juvenile jokes were finally over (It is kind of hard to fathom how much I despise this movie...). I did like Hank Azaria (Abraham) actually; somehow he took a horrible, awful attempt at a script and made it relatively amusing - his lines anyways...other peoples' lines were beyond his control.

0 stars....yeah, kind of like "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen." Don't ever watch this movie...ever...if you want to laugh anyway...if you want to watch it and ponder what was going through everyone's heads when they accepted part in this joke of a movie than go for it and rent it for a buck. One of the worst movies of the year...and I've seen over 20

-Joseph Sbrilli

Funny People

In the end Judd Apatow's "Funny People" starring Adam Sandler, Seth Rogen, Leslie Mann, Jonah Hill, and Eric Bana, doesn't really live up to it's title. The movie is drawn out and gets boring towards the end. The same jokes are reused throughout, making for a lot of redundancy.

Adam Sandler plays George Simmons, a famous stand-up comedian who has been diagnosed with leukemia. Ira Wright (Seth Rogan) wants to become a famous stand-up comedian and does stand-up at various clubs. He ends up getting a job writing jokes for George Simmons and becomes the first person to learn about Simmons' leukemia. There's a subplot involving George Simmons and the girl he almost married, Laura (Leslie Mann), who now has a husband (Eric Bana) and 2 kids. See the movie, or read the in-depth wikipedia synopsis if you want a better plot recap, or watch the trailer. All would be legitimate.

One of the best parts of the movie was the cinematography, thanks to Janusz Kaminski who also did the cinematography for "Schindler's List" and "Saving Private Ryan." The composition of the scenes and the camera angles and such were very successful. The music that was chosen for the movie also added some enjoyment. Several cameos from stand-up comedians, playing themselves, including Ray Romano and Paul Reiser were also welcome additions to "Funny People." Of all the people in the movie, Adam Sandler and Seth Rogen had the best chemistry, which works out nicely since they are, in fact, the stars of the movie. Scenes with Leslie Mann mocking Eric Bana's Australian accent and scenes between George and his doctor with the thick accent are some of the films most successfully executed funny scenes. And the first half hour is the funniest part of the movie, which is kind of sad since the movie is well over 2 hours long.

Now for the not so great parts of the movie. George Simmons is essentially only concerned with himself and taking advantage of his fame which makes him not a very simpathetic character. The chemistry between the characters is not believable. The jokes get unbelievably redundant and most of the time feel like cheap laughs instead of well, thought-out, clever comedy. There are so many jokes about genitalia and vulgar language that it gets obnoxious. It's hard to believe how many Judd Apatow crammed into 146 minutes, but that is typical of him so it really is no surprise. And no, that is not a typo. The movie is actually just shy of 2 and a half hours long. No one should even consider making a comedy that is longer than 2 hours. The genre just does not call for it and "Funny People" is no exception. The last half of the movie when George tries to break up Laura's family and get back together with her is so drawn out that it gets boring. I'm pretty sure we could have done without the scenes with the family dog and their two daughters. It's unnecessary, borderline embarrassing at times, and takes up way to much valuable screen-time. The movie tries to be laugh-out-loud funny as well as incredibly serious and I think they only half succeed.

The movie could have been so much better had it been edited down about a half hour and had the script been edited a little to improve the pacing and the joke quality as well as chemistry between the different characters. 2 stars...I am really harsh when it comes to watching comedies. There definitely were some hilarious parts, but honestly for me, anyway, seeing this this once was enough. All of the stars have done better work elsewhere.

-Joseph Sbrilli