Men In Black 3

There is one thing you should know about me: I love Will Smith. I will watch anything he is in and will always tell you how good of an actor he is even if you didn't ask. The first Men In Black was awesome but I remember being so pants-crappingly terrified of the cockroach alien that I didn't even know what it even looked like until I was ten because I refused to lower my hands. The second Men In Black was awesome until I grew up and realized it was crap and my movie taste hadn't fully developed. I still enjoy it because again, I love Will Smith.

So when I say I liked Men In Black 3, its probably because I am a little bit biased. Will Smith makes me laugh and the odd combo of buddy cop movie with an alien premise always intrigues me enough to buy a ticket.

Agent J (Will Smith) and Agent K(Tommy Lee Jones) are back doing what they do best. But it wouldn't be a movie unless something exciting happened. A dangerous alien criminal known as Boris the Animal (Jemaine Clement) breaks out of a prison on the moon that was built specifically to house him. He is pissed because he has been there for like 40 years after Agent K put him there. Instead of just killing him, he uses a time jump to go back in time to kill Agent K before he can lock him away and knock off one of his arms. Technically he succeeds because Agent K all of a sudden disappears from the future. Agent J finds his own time jump and goes back in time to work with young Agent K (Josh Brolin) to stop Boris.

Obviously the big gimmick in the film is that Will Smith gets to run around with a young Tommy Lee Jones. Josh Brolin nails it. He nails it so good it's uncanny. Half the time it feels like it really is just a young Tommy Lee Jones. He smiles a little too much but otherwise it is a perfect acting job.

And thank god it is there because otherwise MIB 3 would be as bad as MIB 2. It starts off with a "let's see how many jokes Will Smith can make about how unemotional and old Tommy Lee Jones is." And it only really gets exciting when they finally go back in time.

There's also some fun in the retro technology that the men in black use. And although racism shouldn't be funny, a hilarious encounter between Will Smith and some bigoted policemen was comedy gold. Unfortunately for the audience, but fortunately for me, no one seemed to know who Jemaine Clement is. Every time he talked I laughed. I looked around seeing if anyone else was laughing. Nothing. Not many Flight of the Conchords fans around I guess.

Anyway, it's a Men In Black film. You expect anything more? You did? Well screw you man. Go enjoy a slightly brainless movie with the only reason you watched the other movies in the first place: Will Smith. And this time Josh Brolin. And Bill Hader as Andy Warhol. Ha, hilarious.

2 and a half out of 4 stars

-Christopher O'Connell

Rock Of Ages

Believe it or not I am still part of this blog.  I just took a brief five month hiatus from reviewing movies.

The latest movie I saw it theaters was Rock of Ages.  After all, I love musicals and cannot resist more than a dozen 80s songs and a shirtless Tom Cruise in the same movie.  This is the latest film from Adam Shankman, director of 2007's "Hairpray," which was a great adaptation of the Broadway show and one of my favorite movies.  Alas, that will probably be Shankman's greatest achievement.  Not even an all star cast, including Tom Cruise, Catherine Zeta-Jones, and Alec Baldwin could make this a quality film.  Then again maybe thinking of the most cliched plot and randomly adding 80s songs to it just wasn't a great idea to begin with.

The film takes place in 1987 and deals with a naive young midwestern girl, who naturally wants to move to California and become a singer.  She unsurprisingly falls in love with a young man who works at a bar in this sleazy club, who just so happens to be a closeted singer as well.  It's not just any sleazy club though, it's run by Alec Baldwin and Russell Brand and is about to be shut down if they don't pay their taxes on it.  This is where a shirtless, long haired Tom Cruise, as fictional rock and roll idol Stacie Jaxx comes to save the day.  Hopefully his star status will bring in the needed money to save the Bourbon Club.  Tons of random things happen and people randomly burst into such songs as "Hit me With Your Best Shot," "Pour Some Sugar on Me," "Anyway You Want It," and "Can't Fight This Feeling." 

If you ever wanted to know if Tom Cruise can sing, then the answer is yes, kind of.  All he needed was some voice training and a little auto-tune.  I am not a huge fan of his, but he was funny in this movie, and I personally enjoyed his songs, mainly "Pour Some Sugar on Me."  I may have personal issues to work out though.  Who knows? Also, even at age 50 every women who gets within in three feet of him apparently still wants to have sex with him.  There is all sorts of PG-13 sexual references and encounters for Stacie Jaxx, and it's all so ridiculous that I couldn't help but be amused.  Also, another running joke, him putting his hand on at least three women's chests during the duration of the movie, also could potentially lead to amusement. 

The two main young actors Julianne Hough and Diego Boneto really cannot age.  I assume they are merely there to look attractive and bring in that young demographic.  

Next, I love Catherine Zeta-Jones, mainly from Chicago. She proved she had an incredibly powerful voice that fits perfectly in a film based off a Broadway show.  Her character in Rock of Ages was added just for the movie and is really kind of pointless, it pains me to say.  She is the mayor's wife and wants to clean up the city from all the sex, drugs, and rock and roll.  However, she got to sing "Hit me With Your Best" shot, which I enjoyed.  Why was the choreography so cheesy? Why did this scene take place in a church?  I honestly have no idea.  It's just a catchy Pat Benatar song.

Also, Russell Brand is so freaking annoying that it makes me want to scream.  The combination of annoying accent and being not funny just do not sit well with me.  However, his duet with Alec Baldwin (who is a riot anytime he opens his mouth to sing), "Can't Fight this Feeling" was hilarious.  Who knew that they were in love with each other the entire time?  It's true, they ride on carousels and kiss and everything...so be forewarned.  

I got a Burlesque feeling watching Rock of Ages, which is no compliment.  The whole small town girl trying to make it in the big city aspect, mainly.  Unfortunately Cher was not in it though.  That would have possibly added another star to my rating.  

If Mamma Mia! taught us anything it is that Pierce Brosnan cannot sing and that it is never a good idea to attempt to make a musical using previously existing hit songs.  It will always feel forced and the singing will stick out like a sore thumb and not flow naturally with the narrative, like "Sweeney Todd" or "Chicago" did so beautifully.  

One last thing thing I forgot to mention.  One of my favorite scenes was "Anyway You Want It," being sung at a strip club (Oh yeah I forgot to mention it, but the main girl becomes a stripper at a club run by Mary J. Blige...i don't remember why...).  I am really not sure what that says about the quality of this movie, but what can I say, Journey is irresistible to me.

The movie is cliched, the songs don't fit naturally with the story, everyone is obviously lip synching, and there were no scenes as great to me as Meryl Streep singing "Winner Takes it All" in Mamma Mia! or Cher singing "You Haven't Seen the Last of Me" in Burlesque.  I couldn't hate it though.  It was just too ridiculous, but let's be honest I'll probably watch it again before I ever watch Mamma Mia!  

1 star out of 4...if we are being honest with ourselves...Yes I know I rated the previously mentioned two musicals higher that that...I really don't know what I'm doing.

-Joseph Sbrilli 

21 Jump Street

Oh. My. Lord. How in the world did I forget to review "21 Jump Street"? The film that looked so bad that I vowed never to see it only to watch its tomatometer skyrocket. 'Well, damn,' I thought, 'I guess I have to see it now' and that was one of the greatest decisions I've made this year. If we aren't including that late night Taco Bell run of course.

"21 Jump Street" is based off the '80s tv show of the same name starring the perpetually good/rapey looking Johnny Depp. In the show, Depp was a cop who looked "young" so they sent him to high school to stop drug rings and other crimes that teenagers like to commit. Somehow they made it into an hour long drama. Lord knows how much crime had to be committed at that high school to make that show interesting enough for a tv show.

Well, Jonah Hill decided to re-create the show into the most hilarious movie of the year.

Schmidt (Jonah Hill) and Jenko (Channing Tatum) are two under-performing buddy cops. Jenko is just dumb and doesn't know the Miranda Rights: "You have the right to uh...the right to suck my dick!" Schmidt just isn't very athletic. After they mess up on the job, their captain sends them to 21 Jump Street. A division run by a very sassy ice cube in which young-looking police officers go undercover at local high schools to, you guessed it, stop crimes. Schmidt and Jenko are sent to a local high school that is having a problem with a new synthetic drug that has been implicated in the overdose death of one student.

The writers have captured the change in high school so well and at the same time making the buddy cop routine seem fresh. Jenko walks around the school identifying different groups: jocks, nerds, goths, and then he gets to hipsters. Despite being in high school just 5ish years before, hipster is a new fad for him. And anyone who is in college or high school now can instantly identify the faux-50's style and increased emphasis on social awareness.

The movie is hilarious. And not dumb hilarious. It is actually hilarious. It is smart, it is clever and it keeps your attention from start to finish. I found myself doubled over trying to stop the giraffe noises coming out of my throat lest my friends judge me even more. This is one of the few movie that I actually enjoy Jonah Hill in and Channing Tatum should do comedy more often because it is right in his wheelhouse.

There are few R-rated comedies that I would show my parents. This may be one of them because I know they appreciate smart comedy. If you want to laugh, you won't be disappointed. Prepare to quote it for the rest of the day.

4 out of 4 stars

-Christopher O'Connell

P.S. Johnny Depp is in it.

P.S. #@$% YOU SCIENCE!

12 Monkeys: A Quick Review

I love a good sci-fi. There's something about the worlds they create that look so different, yet feel so familiar at the same time. They are like dreams that you had as a child put on screen. Nightmares included.

12 Monkeys is a movie that I have wanted to see for a while. It has two great actors, Bruce Willis and Brad Pitt, and a simple yet potentially deep premise. In the future, 5 billion of the worlds population was wiped out by an airborne disease. The survivors went underground and are currently looking for a potential cure. The surface is ruled by the beats of the Earth. Bruce Willis is a prisoner that is forced to explore the surface gathering animal specimens for study. In exchange for a pardon, Bruce Willis is sent back in time to trace the origins of the virus and the people behind it. But they send him back to the wrong year and things get all screwy.

The film works off another premise described by a psychologist. I forget the name but the basic gist goes like this: The foreknowledge that something is going to happen and the agony of not being able to do anything about it. Willis' character is living in a world that he knows will die no matter what he does. And everyone thinks he is crazy because he talks about the future. It is heartbreaking watching him struggle to explain something that others could never understand. As he is pulled back and forth between time periods his grip on reality is shaken and the audience is left wondering if perhaps he really is insane and it is all in his head.

It is quite depressing but very well done. Any weird or unnecessary scenes can be quickly forgiven. It ranks high on my list of good sci-fi movies and I would encourage film fans to see it.

"I am insane. And you are my insanity."

3.5 out of 4 stars

-Christopher O'Connell

Training Day: A Quick Review

So I haven't reviewed anything in a while. Hopefully that will change. But let's start it off with a movie I've wanted to see for a while but it took forever to actually get around to.

For some reason, whenever someone mentions the film "the Graduate" I go, oh the Denzel movie? And they go, uh no? And give me a look like I'm dangerously stupid. If I ever talk about "The Graduate" odds are I am actually referring to this film because I am a fool.

Anyways, Ethan Hawke, everyone's "favorite" white actor is starting his new job in the narcotics division of the LAPD. His commanding officer is Denzel Washington. The entire movie takes place in one single day, where Ethan is meant to learn the ropes so to speak. Like a day of training if you will, to prepare him for multiple days on the job. He's kind of skittish but he's eager. He learns quickly that being a narcotics agent is a little different than being a beat cop. Denzel likes to work more closely to what is known as street justice. He lets things slide, like minor drug use in order to nab the big fish, the dealers and suppliers. But like any movie made after 1990, there's a twist and Denzel Washington is actually a pretty big douchebag instead of just being a tough cop.

The movie is well made, well-shot and pretty entertaining. Denzel Washington was awarded a best actor oscar for his work as detective Alonzo Harris. I'd highly recommend the film, if you can get over Ethan Hawke's character who for some reason basically does anything everyone tells him. But it's his first day! No, he's been a cop for a while he's not an idiot. You'll see what I mean.

3.5 out of 4 stars

-Christopher O'Connell